IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?

#cars #fuels
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There is an ongoing debate about whether vehicles running on fossil fuels should be banned. Some state that they must be replaced by electric cars. In my opinion, all vehicles burning nonrenewable fuel sources should be prohibited and electric vehicles should serve as their alternative. Automobiles not electric in nature cause the depletion of natural
resources
Use synonyms
 and global warming. Automobiles fueled by
gasoline
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 contribute to the reduction of nonrenewable natural
resources
Use synonyms
. In the internal combustion engine mechanism, non-renewable
gasoline
Use synonyms
 is needed for the system to produce energy.
Also
Linking Words
,
gasoline
Use synonyms
 for consumption needs to travel from far-off places and various modes of transportation burn the same fossil
resources
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, countries with over 3 million population
such
Linking Words
 as The United States, and India need more
gasoline
Use synonyms
 for consumption.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in the
last
Linking Words
 two decades, we have seen oil wars between the United States and Saudi Arabia where non-renewable energy
resources
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 have diminished leading to
further
Linking Words
 environmental impact. The emission of greenhouse gases
causes
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 climate change. The burning of fossil fuels releases greenhouse gases in the atmosphere which
causes
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 depletion of the ozone layer.
This
Linking Words
causes
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 increasing temperatures which results in the melting of glaciers and rises in water levels.
For example
Linking Words
, the melting of the ice in Greenland is leading to an increase in sea levels all over the world and many countries like the Maldives are on the brink of extinction.
In addition
Linking Words
, the sea temperatures are
also
Linking Words
 increasing and leading to climate changes in Australia where in summer the temperature reaches 50 degrees and
causes
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 wildfires. In my viewpoint, all cars burning fossil fuels must be replaced by electric cars.
This
Linking Words
 change in turn will cause less depletion of natural
resources
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, environmental impacts on a larger scale
such
Linking Words
 as global
warmin
Correct your spelling
warming
Submitted by ruchix2006 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve your logical structure, aim for a more organized presentation of ideas. Begin with an introduction that clearly states your opinion, followed by distinct paragraphs supporting your argument, and end with a conclusive summary.
coherence cohesion
Include an explicit conclusion to strengthen your essay. Your conclusion should summarize the main points made and clearly restate your stance, providing a sense of closure.
task achievement
Ensure your essay fully addresses the task by providing a complete and direct response to the prompt. It appears your essay was cut off; ensure your answer is complete to effectively communicate your position and reasoning.
task achievement
To score higher in task achievement, articulate your ideas more clearly and in greater depth. Expand on your arguments with more detailed explanations and refine your points for clarity.
task achievement
While you provided some relevant examples, strive to integrate a wider range of specific examples that directly support your argument. This will enhance the persuasive power of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fossil fuels
  • emissions
  • air pollution
  • greenhouse gases
  • climate change
  • sustainable
  • renewable
  • electric vehicles
  • battery technology
  • charging infrastructure
  • range anxiety
  • government support
  • incentives
  • subsidies
  • renewable energy
  • environmental impact
  • energy efficiency
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