IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Housing is essential for people, some argue that the government should offer free housing for people who cannot afford it. Do yo agree or D isagree with the statement

A living place is one of the main needs of a person. There is a recent ongoing argument about
this
Linking Words
 housing. Some individuals strongly state that the government should offer houses to people who cannot afford the money for
that
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 perception , and we have
prolonged
Verb problem
had prolonged
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discussion
Fix the agreement mistake
discussions
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 about
this
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 matter.
Initially
Linking Words
, the
public
Check wording
public's
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 needs are various, but possessing a shelter is a main requirement for every human. As an example, there are low-income
level
Check wording
apply
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families in the community. Some
party
Fix the agreement mistake
parties
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 make money for their day-to-day expenses .Sometimes
Punctuation problem
,
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that earnings are not sufficient
enough
Rephrase
apply
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for them to grab their main essentials.
However
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 , these human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
 are not qualified enough to pay for housing. Most of them are from the mediocrity society , and they used to do some labour work to earn . These poor
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 earn per day or sometimes per hour. As an instance, cleaning staff
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 make money per hour.
Secondly
Linking Words
, some individuals , families,
got
Verb problem
have
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 some
disability
Replace the word
disabled
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 family members and
older
Correct article usage
an older
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 crowd.
Extreamly
Correct your spelling
Extremely
, they are not able to earn and give help to their family financially.
However
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 ,
as a consequence
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
, a small budget is not enough to
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
succeed
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
 day-to-day lives, and the reason for their low savings is that some have to pay for some medications for their parents
due to
Linking Words
 their modest lifestyles.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
community
Correct article usage
the community
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 may face trouble
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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 in rainy seasons.As we said , governments have a responsibility to look after the people who have low budgets . The public authorities should have a system to grant them in living and to the other main required facilities too.

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Task response
State your clear view at the start and keep it in every paragraph.
Language
Use simple sentences. fix spelling and grammar.
Coherence
Start each paragraph with a main idea and link ideas with simple words.
Content
Give one or two easy examples for your reasons.
Task response
Your essay shows a clear view on the topic in the opening.
Coherence
There is some linking and steady flow of ideas across paragraphs.
Content
You try to add reasons and examples to support your view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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