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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people spend a lot of money for their wedding ceremonies. However, others feel like it is unnecessary to spend a lot. Discuss both view points and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience

Wedding ceremonies are rooted in the culture of each nation.
While
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 some opine that spending a vast amount of
money
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 on
such
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 occasions is not a good idea, others believe that lots of
money
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 should go on
such
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 events. In my view, there are many wide-ranging issues that should be a priority for individuals. On the one hand, a wedding is one of the most important moments in everybody’s life. To clarify, the majority of new generations tend to invite their friends and relatives to celebrate
this
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 day, which costs them a vast amount of
money
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, but they think. In
this
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 way, they can create a long-lasting memory and even have something to say about that day in the future.
As a result
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, they have the chance to revive all the sweet moments that they used to have beside those who care about them.
Hence
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, they believe that holding a fancy ceremony by spending a great deal of budget is one of the most effective ways to create beautiful moments for themselves.
On the other hand
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,
money
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 goes a long way in
this
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 modern era. To clarify, in my country, Iran, dwellers are suffering from crippling poverty. They cannot meet their daily demands, let alone spend their budget on reckless missions,
such
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 as weddings and birthday parties.
Moreover
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, they can use their salaries and wages to shape their future positively, like learning new skills and improving their personal growth,
instead
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 of setting out these huge occasions just to show off their luxurious lifestyle to those who are around them. In conclusion,
although
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 celebrating a wedding day allows humans to capture their sweet memories, it does not necessarily mean we should put financial pressure on ourselves to do it. In my view, it can be really helpful for both societies and residents to invest their
money
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 in things that can make a society a better place to live, rather than encouraging a culture of overconsumption.

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task
Have a clear view in the first line of the essay and again at the end to show your main point.
structure
Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and finish the idea before moving on.
content
Give a real, simple example and keep it short to support your point.
language
Use simple, direct words and short sentences to make the writing easy to read.
content
The essay tries to discuss both sides of the issue.
structure
There is a clear ending that sums up the view.
cohesion
It uses linking words like On the one hand and On the other hand.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • extravagant
  • commitment
  • memorable
  • wasteful
  • societal pressures
  • financial stress
  • cultural practices
  • prioritize
  • personal significance
  • peers
  • stigma
  • journey together
  • elaborate receptions
  • significant event
  • investment
  • essence of a wedding
  • grand ceremony
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