In some countries, young people have become richer, healthier, and live longer, but they are less happy. What are the causes? What can be done to address this situation?

The world today has changed, and that includes how young

people

Use synonyms

deal with their problems. Young

people

Use synonyms

in some countries are wealthy and healthy ,but they are unhappy .

This

Linking Words

essay will examine the causes and what can be done to address

this

Linking Words

situation. On the one hand, there are many reasons why young

people

Use synonyms

are unhappy.

First,

Linking Words

they are upset because of technology and social media. Some individuals compare themselves to other

people

Use synonyms

. Social media will make them feel that they are not good enough.

Second,

Linking Words

other reasons are that they have weak relationships.

For example

Linking Words

, they do not have anybody to talk with or go out with

Punctuation problem

, that

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

makes them feel lonely.

Moreover

Linking Words

, if they do not have any friends, they will not be thankful for what they have.

Finally

Linking Words

, the

last

Linking Words

reason is that they lack purpose and meaning.

For instance

Linking Words

, they do not have goals that they want to achieve.

Therefore

Linking Words

, if they do to do list and write down in the paper what they want to do, that will make them feel glad.

However

Linking Words

on the other hand

Linking Words

, there are several solutions.

First,

Linking Words

they should improve their communication skills.

For example

Linking Words

, if they improve their communication skills, it will make them feel pleased.

In addition

Linking Words

, individuals, when they talk with others they will be happy.

Second,

Linking Words

young

people

Use synonyms

can redefine the meaning of success.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the government should advise young

people

Use synonyms

on the meaning of success.

Also

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, they can not teach them. What skills should they follow to achieve their goals

Change the punctuation

show examples

In conclusion, every problem has a solution, and

this

Linking Words

topic has many solutions.

Also

Linking Words

, young

people

Use synonyms

should think about solving problems and

instead

Linking Words

of thinking that their lives are awful.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they should find a solution to

this

Linking Words

problem by asking their parents or searching on the Internet.

flower.ipad

Dec 16, 2025

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Development

Develop one or two main ideas fully with clear reasons and simple examples for each.

Coherence

Improve the flow of ideas with clear links between sentences using simple joining words.

Structure

Make the introduction state your plan and the conclusion sum up the main points.

Content

There is a clear attempt to discuss both causes and solutions.

Structure

The essay uses paragraphs to separate ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

304 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

wealthier
healthier
pressure
succeed
society
family
peers
education
stress
anxiety
social media
comparison
inadequacy
self-esteem
isolation
loneliness
relationships
superficial
meaning
purpose
consumerism
material
possessions
happiness

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