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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the graph below shows radio and television audiences through out the day in 1992. Summarize the finformation by selecting and reporting the main freatures, and make compraions where relevant.

The line graph shows the proportion of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 watching
tv
Use the right word
TV
show examples
 and listening to the radio over 24 hours from October to December 1992 in the United Kingdom.
Overall
Linking Words
, the percentage of people watching television increased, as
contratry
Correct your spelling
contrasted
 to the decrease in radio listeners towards the end of the day. It was observed that approximately 30% of the population listened to the radio around 8'o
clock
Use the right word
o'clock
show examples
 in the morning.
This
Linking Words
 percentage
then
Linking Words
 proceeded to decrease with a slight bump around 4 pm in the evening,
otherwise
Linking Words
 only having about 2% listeners at two hours past midnight. It starts rising again with the start of a new dawn.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, almost no one watched TV before 6 am in the morning. Some 7%-8% percent of people prefer
to begin
Linking Words
 their day with screen time
mapping
Punctuation problem
, mapping
show examples
 a curve between 6 am to 10 am, before tracing a steady rise from 12 noon to around 3 pm
reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
show examples
 at 15% watching crowd. Here onwards, the portion of screen spectators rose dramatically and reached a peak of approximately 45% at 8 pm in the late evening, before it plunged within 4 hours and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a little to no viewers
bythe
Correct your spelling
by the
 next sunrise.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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