Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?
The debate surrounding whether it is best for museums to require an entry fee or not has sparked considerable controversy.
While
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this
notion brings mere drawbacks, I firmly believe that its benefits are of higher significance Linking Words
due to
the reasons Linking Words
this
essay Linking Words
further
elaborates on.
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To begin
with, each culture has a precious history and objects showcasing them, which require taking care of. By gaining a sufficient amount of money from attendees, governors would be able to implement conservative methods, potentially preserving the objects being exhibited. Linking Words
Moreover
, by introducing entry fees, only enthusiasts of the matter would attend, most of whom have grasped the importance of the historical objects. Linking Words
Consequently
, they are less likely to conduct anything detrimental to them. To illustrate, the monumental municipality building of Rasht houses a museum with a prohibitively expensive entry charge that had not only helped the managers to make high-quality glasses surrounding the sculptures but Linking Words
also
a decline in less sophisticated attendees.
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On the other hand
, the drawbacks of Linking Words
this
sentiment should not be overlooked. Providing an opportunity for individuals of any socio-economical status to explore these places, offers a tangible way to connect to their roots; Linking Words
therefore
, anyone would be able to foster the knowledge of their ancestors. Linking Words
However
, Linking Words
this
situation comes at the cost of losing valuable and traditional monuments as people may cause harm to them Linking Words
due to
their insufficient knowledge. Take the Persepolis site in Iran as an example; authorities have let people enter it for years and now, unfortunately, it can be seen that many have written their names on Linking Words
such
monumental and intricate constructions.
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To conclude
, despite the equal accessibility Linking Words
this
notion offers, I subscribe to the fact that Linking Words
this
free access leads to demolishment of the valuable pieces, diminishing the opportunity for the next generation to learn about their ancient cultural heritage and history.Linking Words
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task achievement
Your task achievement is strong, but you might benefit from expanding your arguments further and providing more specific examples to buttress your points.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear and logical structure. However, ensure each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next to improve flow.
coherence cohesion
While your main points are well-supported, offering more developed examples and evidence would enhance your argument.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear and sets up the debate effectively, providing a good overview of the essay's direction.
supported main points
Your use of specific examples, such as the monumental municipality building of Rasht and the Persepolis site, strengthens your argument by offering concrete instances.
logical structure
The essay is well-organized with clear main points that are logically structured and relevant to the task.