one main reason is the busy day and lifestyle of new and modern life because many people work
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
and spend most of their free time on their phones or laptops
or
Punctuation problem
, or
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tv
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TV
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.Another reason is the lack of awareness about the importance of physical activity.
Body paragraph 2
Linking Words
Secondly
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Secondly,
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the lack of physical exercise can lead to anxiety or depression or other serious health problems
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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like
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as
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obesity .
Moreover
Linking Words
, physical inactivity can reduce productivity and energy levels, which affects society economically
Conclusion
In
conclusion
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conclusion,
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governments and communities should encourage sports and exercise through awareness campaigns and better facilities
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structure
Plan a clear path before you write. Start with a short intro that says what you will talk about. Then use one paragraph for causes and one for effects. End with a short conclusion.
coherence
Use linking words to move ideas. Words like first, then, also, but, because, as a result help the reader follow your thoughts.
grammar
Check your word form and sentence parts. Put a full stop at the end of a sentence. Use capital letter at the start. Break long lines into shorter ones.
content
The essay tries to answer both parts of the task: causes and effects.
structure
It uses basic linking words like First of all and In conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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