Nowadays young people spend too much of their free time in shopping malls. Some people fear that this may have negative influences on the youths and the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Nowadays, a growing number of young
people
Use synonyms
spend a significant amount of their leisure
time
Use synonyms
in shopping
malls
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
trend is often seen as a normal form of entertainment, I strongly agree that excessive
time
Use synonyms
spent in
malls
Use synonyms
can have negative consequences for both young
people
Use synonyms
and
society
Use synonyms
as a whole. One major concern is that shopping
malls
Use synonyms
promote consumerism and materialistic values. Young
people
Use synonyms
who frequently visit
malls
Use synonyms
may begin to measure happiness and social status by what they buy rather than by personal achievements or meaningful experiences.
This
Linking Words
mindset can discourage creativity, self-development, and long-term goal setting.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, spending long hours in
malls
Use synonyms
often involves sedentary activities, which may contribute to unhealthy lifestyles and reduced physical activity.
In addition
Linking Words
to individual effects,
this
Linking Words
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
can
also
Linking Words
negatively impact
society
Use synonyms
. When young
people
Use synonyms
prioritize
Change the spelling
prioritise
show examples
mall culture over community-based activities, family bonding and social responsibility may decline.
As a result
Linking Words
, traditional social values
such
Linking Words
as cooperation, volunteerism, and cultural engagement can gradually weaken, leading to a more individualistic and consumption-driven
society
Use synonyms
. That said, it would be unrealistic to view shopping
malls
Use synonyms
as entirely harmful. They can offer a safe and convenient environment for social interaction and relaxation.
However
Linking Words
, these benefits are only
realized
Change the spelling
realised
show examples
when mall visits are kept in moderation and balanced with more productive pursuits. In conclusion, I firmly believe that
although
Linking Words
shopping
malls
Use synonyms
can serve a positive social function, the excessive amount of
time
Use synonyms
young
people
Use synonyms
spend in them has largely negative effects on both individuals and
society
Use synonyms
. Encouraging healthier and more purposeful use of free
time
Use synonyms
is
therefore
Linking Words
essential.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Be more clear at the start about your main idea. Put your main point in the first paragraph and keep it in mind in all you write.
task response
Give one or two real or simple examples to back each point.
coherence
Make the ideas flow easy from one to the next. Use simple link words like also, then, but, and so.
coherence
Use shorter sentences too. If a line is long, split it in two.
coherence
Each paragraph should have one main idea and a clear link to it from the first sentence.
lexical
Choose easy words. Avoid hard words. Try to use only common words.
strength
Clear view on the topic
strength
Good plan with both sides and a close end
strength
Parag confers in order and uses linking words
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • young people
  • shopping malls
  • free time
  • negative influences
  • society
  • consumerism
  • financial habits
  • overspend
  • debt
  • happiness
  • pressure
  • fit in
  • social interactions
  • entertainment
  • activities
  • friends
  • meaningful conversations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: