IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many people in cities around the world suffer from high levels of air pollution. What are the causes of this problem, and what can be done to solve it?

In today's cities, many people suffer from
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
serious
air
Use synonyms
 pollution.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue and explain what
remedy
Fix the agreement mistake
remedies
show examples
 we can
do
Verb problem
take
show examples
. First of all, an excessive number of private cars and
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
 in green areas contribute
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 low quality of
air
Use synonyms
. To illustrate, vehicles would produce a significant amount of
green house
Use the right word
greenhouse
show examples
 gases when these are operating.
Due to
Linking Words
 economic growth, individuals are willing to purchase a private car rather than commuting by public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the extent of plant
regions
Use synonyms
 in metropolises
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 remarkably reducing in order to
Correct article usage
the contruction
show examples
contruction
Correct your spelling
construction
 of industrial
regions
Use synonyms
. As we all know, plants are able to absorb
green house
Use the right word
greenhouse
show examples
 gases from
surroundings
Correct article usage
the surroundings
show examples
.
Therefor
Use the right word
Therefore
show examples
,
air
Use synonyms
 pollution will
be deteriorated
Wrong verb form
deteriorate
show examples
 owing to insufficient environmentally-friendly
regions
Use synonyms
 and a considerable
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of private vehicles.
Regard
Replace the word
Regarding
show examples
 of above causes, the government should
enhance
Verb problem
increase
show examples
 the price of
fuels
Fix the agreement mistake
fuel
show examples
 and cultivate more plants in our towns.
For instance
Linking Words
, the Chinese government put
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 tax on oil and encourages inhabitants
adopting
Wrong verb form
to adopt
show examples
 public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
. The railway companies will provide an affordable fee to the general
if
Check wording
public if
show examples
 the government offers allowances to these enterprises.
Moreover
Linking Words
, increasing the proportion of environmentally-friendly
regions
Use synonyms
 in metropolises can effectively improve the quality of
Use synonyms
air
Correct article usage
the air
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
, individuals and authorities should cooperate to tackle exacerbating
air
Use synonyms
 pollution.
To sum up
Linking Words
, skyrocketing the number of household cars and shrinking plant areas
also
Linking Words
 contribute to
deteriorate
Wrong verb form
deteriorating
show examples
air
Use synonyms
 quality.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, governments should levy
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 oil tax on household cars and build up more green areas.

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grammar
Use plain grammar and fix mistakes so the meaning is clear.
cohesion
Link ideas with small joins like and, but, also, so.
structure
Use one main idea in each paragraph: cause in one part, fix in the next.
content
Add more real proof, such as facts or numbers, not only big ideas.
lexical
Use easy words. Do not use long hard words.
structure
The plan to use taxes on fuel and more green space is clear.
content
The essay shows a clear aim to find causes and ways to fix air pollution.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • air
  • pollution
  • city
  • people
  • car
  • bus
  • train
  • walk
  • bike
  • fuel
  • smoke
  • gas
  • coal
  • oil
  • factory
  • plant
  • dust
  • wind
  • sun
  • rain
  • health
  • cause
  • plan
  • rule
  • tax
  • cost
  • save
  • energy
  • clean
  • dirty
  • reduce
  • limit
  • change
  • use
  • money
  • time
  • tree
  • park
  • road
  • traffic
  • public
  • transport
  • electric
What to do next:
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