IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The range and quality of food we can buy has changed due to technological and scientific advances. Some people believe the range and quality of food has improved while others consider it may be harmful. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

There is no doubt that many changes have been made to our
food
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 in recent years. The question is, are these changes good or bad? In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both points of view on
this
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 topic. 
First,
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in terms of advantages, many improvements were made in
food
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,
such
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 as genetically modified crops, so they have a longer shelf life, and developed many other variations of
food
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 than what is naturally grown. The main reason given to support
this
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 claim is that
this
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 specific technology made a huge advance in our
food
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 resources. To illustrate, farmers face a lot of challenges during the harvesting season; they try to make the process as fast as possible so no
food
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 waste is applicable.
For instance
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, tomatoes are one of the fast-rotting vegetables; as soon as they reach the shelves in the supermarket, it is only a matter of time till they decay;
therefore
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, scientific techniques are a necessity at
this
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 point.
However
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, I can see why some people are against produce modifications and prefer eating organic.
Initially
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, some issues can be linked to these improvements,
for example
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, some illnesses are linked to these kinds of modifications,
such
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 as Alzheimer's disease,
although
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 it is still not scientifically proven and is still under study.
Secondly
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, a lot of the community, especially parents, are really considerate
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 what they feed their children, and they will prefer to avoid anything that has a possibility of side effects on their kids. In conclusion,
while
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 there are people who are against any kind of advances, many still support it and consider it a privilege that we have
due to
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 science and knowledge, and we can design our own
food
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.
Therefore
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, I believe that the positive effects dominate the problems.
Moreover
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, it is still important that certain steps must be taken to ensure that
this
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 phenomenon is safe from
deteteriorating
Correct your spelling
deteriorating
 our future.

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structure
Plan your essay with a clear map: a short intro, two balanced parts, then a clear end that shows your view.
content
Have one main idea in each paragraph and give one example for it.
content
Avoid big claims you cannot back up. If you mention harm, give a real fact or say 'some say' to show doubt.
logic
Make sure the sense flows. If you say food waste cannot happen, check how this fits with other ideas.
grammar
Use short, clean sentences. Keep one idea per sentence and use simple words.
spelling
Check spelling and wrong words so your meaning stays clear.
coherence
Use linking words to join ideas, like 'also', 'but', 'however', 'in addition' to help flow.
content
The essay tries to show both sides and ends with a view.
content
There are examples to help the reader.
structure
The topic is clear and the plan is easy to follow.
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