More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think is a possible solution?
The
number
of people owning their first car
has increased significantly in developing countries
. The principal problems
this
causes are pollution and traffic
congestion, and the most viable solution is to restrict car
use in downtown areas.
The primary issue developing countries
face when their citizens start to buy cars
is increased pollution. This
occurs as a result
of growing hazardous exhaust fumes from those
private vehicles which Correct determiner usage
apply
ranks
only behind the carbon Change the verb form
rank
emission
from industrial activities. The greater Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
number
of personal means of transport on the road is also
responsible for a rise in traffic
jams. This
is because the road system and infrastructure in low and middle-income countries
have not kept up with the volume of traffic
, especially in metropolis cities. Narrow streets, lack of parking lots and ineffective traffic
system
often result in long-hour Fix the agreement mistake
systems
traffic
jams which make it a nightmare for most commuters. For example
, during rush hours in Vietnam
it may take from 20 minutes up to 50 minutes to travel a 500-meter distance.
A solution to these Add a comma
Vietnam,
problems
is to ban private cars
in downtown areas while
only allowing public transportation. This
would solve the problems
by discouraging current car
owners from communting
to work Correct your spelling
commuting
this
way as well as
making other people consider more carefully before purchasing their first car
. For example
, local authorities in Ho Chi Minh City in Vietnam passed on laws to restrict cars
in the city center
Change the spelling
centre
last
year and continue to expand the list of places where private cars
are strictly prohibited. This
has resulted in a larger number
of passengers in other public transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
such
as buses or trams. The proportion of citizens resorting to other greener vehicles such
as bicycles is
Verb problem
has
also
climbed markedly.
In conclusion, due to
the growing number
of first-time car
buyers, the major problems
that developing countries
are facing are worsening air quality and persistent heavy traffic
and limiting private cars
in city areas is thought to be the most viable solution to this
issue.Submitted by nha7032463 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Lexical Resource
To further improve your essay, consider diversifying your vocabulary to avoid repetition of phrases. Using synonyms and a wider range of linguistic structures can make your argument more compelling.
Task Achievement
Ensure a balance between general ideas and specific examples in your essay. While you provided relevant examples, integrating more varied and detailed illustrations can enhance your argument's depth and clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay, try to more clearly link your ideas with appropriate transitional phrases. While your essay flows well, enhancing transitions between sentences and paragraphs can improve the readability and logical flow of your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!