IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows information about the actual and expected figures of population in three cities, Jakarta, Sao Paulo and Shanghai

The given bar chart illustrates data on the amount of
population
Use synonyms
 in three cities from 1990 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 the rate of
population
Use synonyms
 increased for all of them over the period,
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
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 number for Sao Paulo was much higher compared to other cities. In 1990, the
population
Use synonyms
 of São Paulo was well over 15 million, which was the most crowded city at that time.
Then
Linking Words
,
while
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 it was expected to reach well over 20 million in 2000, it was just under 25
.
Check wording
million.
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 Turning to other cities, at the beginning of the period, Jakarta and Shanghai began at well under 10 and over 10, respectively.
Whereas
Linking Words
 it was predicted to see a decline in the
population
Use synonyms
 of Shanghai, it received around 15 million in 2000.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 figure for Jakarta finished at well over 10, which was slightly higher than what was predicted.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words population with synonyms.
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