IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that students who achieve the best academic results should be rewarded. Others believe it is more important to reward students who show improvement. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the prevailing era, rewards can be a powerful tool in academic success.
Therefore
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, it is an argued issue whether incentives should be given to high achievers in schools or
students
Use synonyms
 who show improvement should be rewarded.
This
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 essay will not only discuss both viewpoints but
also
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 present my opinion in the conclusion. On the one hand, rewarding learners with the best academic results can encourage excellence. High achievers often work hard, follow discipline, and think positively to achieve their goals. By recognising their achievements through prizes and scholarships, schools can promote healthy competition
,
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apply
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 and set aims to perform better academically.
For example
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, the top 3
students
Use synonyms
 in the class always remain on the list of high
perfomers
Correct your spelling
performers
 since they work hard to achieve these positions.
On the other hand
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, a number of people argue that rewarding improvement is more meaningful. Some
students
Use synonyms
 confront tremendous obstacles and lack support at home because not all
students
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 start from the same academic level. If
students
Use synonyms
 display significant improvements, rewards push them to
ameliorate
Verb problem
improve
show examples
 their performance. To illustrate,
students
Use synonyms
 who ameliorate from 55% to 72% show strong efforts, and incentives play an important role in motivating them to
futher
Correct your spelling
further
 improvements. I
opinion
Correct pronoun usage
my opinion
show examples
 that high achievers and progressive learners should be awarded so
both
Correct word order
that both
show examples
 of them cannot feel pessimistic. In
this
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 way, all
students
Use synonyms
 would be encouraged, not just the strongest ones. It intends to create a more supportive and inclusive learning environment. A balanced system that recognises would be more effective.
To conclude
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, rewarding top academic performers fosters excellence,
whereas
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 rewarding improvements can encourage a wide number of
students
Use synonyms
. I believe that both
students
Use synonyms
 should be rewarded for their performance.

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task response
Your essay answers the prompt and shows a view, but the opening could be more direct in stating the stance.
coherence
Use clear transitions to show how ideas link. Phrases like 'In addition', 'However', 'For example' help.
grammar
Check grammar: 'I opinion' should be 'I think/I believe'; 'from 55% to 72%' is okay but ensure tense consistency.
content
Give more specific examples and details to back your points; avoid vague statements.
content
The essay discusses both views and states an opinion.
structure
Uses 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to present views.
structure
Conclusion restates the writer's view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • reward
  • achievement
  • improvement
  • progress
  • effort
  • motivation
  • growth
  • standard
  • excellence
  • fair
  • equal
  • inclusion
  • recognition
  • incentive
  • certificate
  • prize
  • prize
  • criteria
  • measure
  • progress report
  • growth mindset
  • plan
  • goal
  • support
  • opportunity
  • competition
  • inspire
  • belong
  • value
  • design
  • system
  • transparent
  • consistent
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