IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

More and more people are moving from rural areas to live in cities. • What problems can this cause? • How can these problems be solved?

In recent decades, there has been a significant global shift in population as people migrate from the countryside to urban
centers
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centres
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.
While
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 cities offer the promise of better opportunities,
this
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 rapid
urbanization
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urbanisation
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 leads to several socio-economic challenges.
This
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 essay will discuss the primary problems associated with
this
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 trend and suggest some viable solutions. The mass exodus from rural areas creates two main problems.
Firstly
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, it leads to extreme pressure on urban infrastructure. As city populations swell, public services
such
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 as transportation, healthcare, and education often become overwhelmed, leading to congestion and a reduced quality of life.
Secondly
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, there is the issue of housing shortages. Because the demand for housing far outstrips supply, many migrants are forced into substandard living conditions or "slums" with poor sanitation.
For example
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, in many developing nations,
mega-cities
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megacities
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 are surrounded by informal settlements that lack basic necessities like clean water. To address these issues, governments must take a dual approach. The most effective solution is to invest in rural development. By improving infrastructure, healthcare, and schools in the countryside, the "pull" factor of the city is weakened. If people can access high-quality services in their hometowns, they are less likely to move.
Additionally
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, governments should offer incentives for businesses to relocate to smaller towns. Creating job opportunities outside of major hubs would distribute the population more evenly across the country. In conclusion,
while
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 the movement to cities causes significant strain on urban resources and housing, these problems are not insurmountable. By
decentralizing
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decentralising
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 industry and improving the standard of living in rural areas, governments can manage the flow of migration and ensure more balanced national growth.

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improvement
Try to give more small facts or numbers to back up ideas.
structure
Keep each paragraph on one main idea and link ideas with clear words.
language
Use easy words and short sentences to keep the flow clear.
strength
The answer is clear and shows a good view on the topic.
strength
It uses good link words and order to guide the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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