[Rev2] Details of politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that
information
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about
politicians
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' personal lives should not be published in the print
media
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.
This
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essay strongly agrees that
such
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information
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ought to remain private and will outline the key reasons supporting
this
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view.
First,
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the main reason why
politicians
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' private lives should not be shared in newspapers is that
such
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information
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can cause serious harm not only to the individuals themselves but
also
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to their families. Intense
media
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attention frequently results in intrusive public scrutiny, unwanted criticism, and emotional distress. Over time,
this
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pressure can negatively affect mental well-being, family relationships, and serious health risk, which
is
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are
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vital factors to live for them, especially when personal matters are taken out of context, exaggerated, and released for commercial purposes.
Furthermore
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, obtaining private
information
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about
politicians
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often involves illegal or unethical practices. The right to privacy is one of the most fundamental rights in modern society, and journalists should not access and disclose personal details without consent. In many cases, paparazzi engage in invasive behaviour,
such
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as trespassing on private property or bribing acquaintances to obtain confidential
information
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. These actions clearly violate and break legal boundaries and undermine ethical standards in journalism. In conclusion, I firmly support and believe the view that
politicians
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' private lives should not be subject to
media
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scrutiny and
media
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attention. Publishing
such
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information
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can damage family well-being and frequently requires illegal and unlawful methods.
Therefore
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, newspapers should respect personal privacy and focus
instead
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on reporting matters that are genuinely relevant to the public interest.

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task response
Be clear about your view in the first line and keep the same idea in your whole essay. Add at least one view that is not in your favor and say why you still agree.
coherence
Group ideas in a simple order. Use linking words such as First, Second, Also, However, In short to show how your ideas go.
task response
Try to give one real example or fact to back each reason. Right now you give two ideas, but no clear example.
lexical resource
Use short and easy words. Avoid long phrases that are hard to read. Replace hard words with simple ones like 'private life' and 'news'.
grammar
Fix small grammar mistakes. Example: 'which is vital factors to live for them' should be 'which is a vital thing for their life' or 'a key factor in life'.
content
Clear stance and aim in the topic.
structure
Good layout with intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence
Ideas stay on topic and are relevant to the aim.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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