Some countries prohibited rejecting job applicants because of their age. Is this a positive or negative development

With an unprecedented shift in social norms, introducing a complete ban on refusing job applicants on the basis of age has become increasingly common in some countries.
While
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this
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trend entails certain concerns, I view
this
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development as highly positive, as older
workers
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can improve companies’
overall
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income
due to
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their experience and are able to support their own needs, which require financial input. It can be argued that older
people
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are more likely to face health issues. From
this
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perspective, within a decade, companies may face bankruptcy if older employees are unable to work
due to
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age-related diseases. Health risks related to the cardiovascular system, bone deterioration, and vision problems are pertinent examples of
such
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conditions, which have been proven to have a detrimental impact on both company productivity and employees’
overall
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well-being. Another compelling argument relates to technological competence. In developed countries
such
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as China and Finland, where there is a higher demand for
workers
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who can operate advanced technologies, companies can significantly increase their market revenue. As older
people
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may lack these skills, it may appear advisable for many enterprises to hire younger
workers
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. Notwithstanding these arguments, older
people
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can offer numerous advantages to market growth
due to
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their highly valuable experience. In fact, they are often associated with strong leadership abilities, enabling them to encourage colleagues and identify potential risks.
This
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can improve workplace efficiency
while
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also
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allowing younger employees to acquire knowledge related to their field. It can act as a strong deterrent against serious problems that often arise from the inexperience of young
workers
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. Beyond these advantages,
this
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policy can
also
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reduce the financial burden on government authorities. With access to a regular source of income, elderly
people
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can afford their own medical expenses.
As a result
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, public funding can be redirected to address other urgent issues,
such
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as repairing educational institutions and providing subsidies. In conclusion, implementing a blanket ban on rejecting job applicants based on age can undoubtedly come with drawbacks,
such
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as health concerns and limited technological skills.
However
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,
this
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change offers several benefits, as older
workers
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possess greater experience and can support themselves financially.
Therefore
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, I believe
this
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is a positive development
overall
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.

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task response improvement
The essay shows a clear view that the change is good, but it may be stronger if you show both sides more evenly and end with a clear restatement of your view.
coherence improvement
Use short, clear sentences. Some long lines can be split to help the reader follow.
coherence improvement
Each paragraph should start with a clear idea and stick to one main point.
task response improvement
Give more proof for each idea. The essay has few facts or numbers. One or two exact facts can help a lot.
task response improvement
Make sure you answer the task in the opening and finish with a touch that restates your view.
parsing and style improvement
Watch punctuation. Break long sentences with periods and commas to avoid confusion.
content
Clear stance that the change is positive.
structure
Good structure with an introduction and a conclusion.
content
Use of examples such as China and Finland.
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