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Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries, students are under increasing pressure to succeed academically. What do you think are the causes of this pressure, and what measures could be taken to reduce it?

In many countries,
students
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 today face growing
pressure
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 to perform well academically.
This
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pressure
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 mainly stems from social expectations and highly competitive education systems.
This
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 essay will examine these causes and suggest practical ways to reduce the burden on
students
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. One major source of academic
pressure
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 is the strong emphasis placed on grades by parents and society. Academic achievement is often viewed as a key indicator of future success, which leads
students
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 to believe that poor results will limit their life opportunities.
As a result
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, many
students
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 experience constant stress and fear of failure.
This
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 situation is
further
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 intensified by competition within education
systems
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systems,
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 where exam scores determine access to prestigious universities and scholarships.
For example
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, in several Asian countries,
students
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 frequently attend private tutoring after school to gain an advantage over their peers. Over time,
such
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pressure
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 can harm
students
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’ mental health and reduce their intrinsic motivation to learn. Another contributing factor is the heavy workload imposed by schools.
Students
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 are expected to cope with frequent examinations, extensive homework, and extracurricular requirements simultaneously.
Consequently
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, many of them spend long hours studying with insufficient rest. Research in educational psychology indicates that prolonged academic stress can lead to burnout, reduced concentration, and emotional exhaustion, particularly among adolescents. To address these issues, educational authorities should reconsider how academic performance is assessed. Reducing the reliance on high-stakes examinations and incorporating project-based or continuous assessment would allow
students
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 to demonstrate their abilities in a less stressful manner.
In addition
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, parents and schools should work together to promote a more balanced definition of success that includes personal development and well-being, rather than grades alone. In conclusion, academic
pressure
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 among
students
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 is largely driven by societal expectations and demanding school workloads. By reforming assessment methods and encouraging healthier attitudes toward achievement,
this
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pressure
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 can be significantly alleviated.

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content
Add more detail for each idea. Give one or two real examples for each cause and each measure.
coherence
Link ideas with small words: first, also, but, so, and.
structure
In the intro and end, name the main ideas in a simple way and repeat them in the conclusion.
language
Check spelling and keep grammar steady while using simple words.
strength
Clear view of causes and good ideas for fixes.
strength
Well organized with a clear intro and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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