Some people say that the prevention of health problems is more important than the treatment of illness and disease and that Government funding should reflect this?What is your opinion?

Prevention
has always been the easiest and most economical way to tackle different kinds of ailments, from viral diseases to bacterial ones.
Therefore
, people need to be aware of the modes of transmission and contamination
along with
the methods of
prevention
. The success of
this
possibility will be acquired if the governing body gives its attention to
such
issues concerning
disease
prevention
more than
disease
treatment, even though both
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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actions are crucial in
itself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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. To prevent
disease
is to escape all the liabilities which a
disease
can cause. The
disease
is not only an assault on the body but
also
on spiritual and material wealth.
For instance
, if a person falls seriously ill
then
he will lose his mental and physical being and on top of that, he will
also
suffer a blow to his life-long earnings. But, if that person had managed to prevent that illness in the first place
then
the whole thing would have been saved.
Although
medical treatments have been incessantly expensive, people are still drawn to them
due to
the failure of authorities to promote health
prevention
. Despite the famous slogan, '
Prevention
is better than cure', the government still focuses on treatment research rather than
prevention
strategies.
For example
, the budget allocated to purchasing hospital machines is higher than the amount of money given to vaccine centres.
To conclude
,
while
I agree that curing ailments is an important step, exercising precaution and henceforth, preventing the
disease
will stop the outcomes of
disease
altogether.
Therefore
, to promote health, authorities ought to allocate an appropriate amount of funds towards preventive care.
Submitted by az09jimzz on

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task achievement
Ensure to balance between discussing prevention and treatment to provide a more comprehensive response.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or statistics to support arguments, if available.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph clearly links back to the main thesis or question.
introduction conclusion present
The essay opens with a strong introduction, setting the context for the discussion.
logical structure
Logical progression of ideas from prevention benefits to government funding is clearly presented.
introduction conclusion present
Conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and aligns with the introduction.

Your opinion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive measures
  • healthcare costs
  • public health campaigns
  • vaccination programs
  • chronic diseases
  • economic productivity
  • absenteeism
  • quality of life
  • life expectancy
  • burden on healthcare systems
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