Some people say that the prevention of health problems is more important than the treatment of illness and disease and that Government funding should reflect this?What is your opinion?
Prevention
has always been the easiest and most economical way to tackle different kinds of ailments, from viral diseases to bacterial ones. Therefore
, people need to be aware of the modes of transmission and contamination along with
the methods of prevention
. The success of this
possibility will be acquired if the governing body gives its attention to such
issues concerning disease
prevention
more than disease
treatment, even though both of
Change preposition
apply
the
actions are crucial in Correct article usage
apply
itself
.
To prevent Correct pronoun usage
themselves
disease
is to escape all the liabilities which a disease
can cause. The disease
is not only an assault on the body but also
on spiritual and material wealth. For instance
, if a person falls seriously ill then
he will lose his mental and physical being and on top of that, he will also
suffer a blow to his life-long earnings. But, if that person had managed to prevent that illness in the first place then
the whole thing would have been saved.
Although
medical treatments have been incessantly expensive, people are still drawn to them due to
the failure of authorities to promote health prevention
. Despite the famous slogan, 'Prevention
is better than cure', the government still focuses on treatment research rather than prevention
strategies. For example
, the budget allocated to purchasing hospital machines is higher than the amount of money given to vaccine centres.
To conclude
, while
I agree that curing ailments is an important step, exercising precaution and henceforth, preventing the disease
will stop the outcomes of disease
altogether. Therefore
, to promote health, authorities ought to allocate an appropriate amount of funds towards preventive care.Submitted by az09jimzz on
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task achievement
Ensure to balance between discussing prevention and treatment to provide a more comprehensive response.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or statistics to support arguments, if available.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph clearly links back to the main thesis or question.
introduction conclusion present
The essay opens with a strong introduction, setting the context for the discussion.
logical structure
Logical progression of ideas from prevention benefits to government funding is clearly presented.
introduction conclusion present
Conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and aligns with the introduction.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?