Some people believe that to enhance people's health, governments should make laws about people's nutrition and food choice. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A school of thought remains controversial as to whether regulations of an individual's nutrition and diet would be necessary to boost
health
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.
This
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essay attempts to shed light on both perspectives before presenting my final point. On the one hand, proponents highlight the beneficial aspects of improving well-being and better
health
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standards when applying
such
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food laws. Regarding the former, governmental oversight of dietary options helps
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
citizens have a balanced and nutritional meal that can reinforce their energy and
health
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.
This
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can include pivotal nutrients like protein and vitamins, or restricted overcaloric input, which is instrumental in shaping fitness and nourishing the brain. The healthcare system can
also
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benefit from
this
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regulatory framework. With an upgraded
health
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status, less burden will be put on
health
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-service infrastructure and workers, thereby supporting more advanced and convenient operation.
However
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, opponents assert that equally important is the concern about individual rights and overwhelming

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task response
The essay ends too soon and does not give your final view. Add a clear conclusion that states your position.
coherence
In the intro, tell what you will discuss and give your view so the reader knows your plan.
coherence
Use more simple link words to tie ideas, like first, next, also, but, however.
task response
Give one or two real details or examples to back each point.
structure
There is a start that shows place for both sides.
content
The intro shows what you will talk about.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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