IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

A growing number of people are working from home instead of going to an office. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, working online is gaining more and more popularity among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employees
Use synonyms
 who prefer to work remotely and stay independent.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 I understand
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 there are several benefits why
people
Use synonyms
 choose
this
Linking Words
 style, I
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
 the drawbacks are far greater
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they outweigh the possible advantages of
this
Linking Words
 trend. It is an undeniable fact that working online has made
people
Use synonyms
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
easier by several positive outcomes.
Main
Correct article usage
The main
show examples
 advantage of
this
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
is that
this
Linking Words
 allows
employees
Use synonyms
 to have location freedom, where
only
Correct article usage
the only
show examples
 thing
thwy
Correct your spelling
they
 would need is a notebook and a wi-fi connection. Another
most
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
common reason why
people
Use synonyms
 tend to work from
home
Use synonyms
 is the convenience
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 time. There would be no need
for going
Change preposition
to go
show examples
 to the office.
This
Linking Words
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
plays a significant
importance
Check wording
role
show examples
 for
employees
Use synonyms
, as they would not need to commute to the workplace.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 will bring fewer
green
Use the right word
greenhouse
show examples
 gas emissions to the environment.
People
Use synonyms
 will stay at
home
Use synonyms
 , and they will not need to use vehicles as a form of transportation to get to the place. In spite of all arguments above,
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 drawbacks of
this
Linking Words
 working from
home
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 much greater than the benefits.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
people
Use synonyms
 will be confined to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one particular environment, like
home
Use synonyms
till
Punctuation problem
, till
show examples
 the end of the working day.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 would lead
employees
Use synonyms
 to feel alone and take away the chance to be among real
people
Use synonyms
 and communicate effectively.
Secondly
Linking Words
, working from
home
Use synonyms
 may lead
employees
Use synonyms
 to make some errors in the job because of the lack of communication, and
this
Linking Words
 will decrease the productivity of the team.
Finally
Linking Words
, staying all day in one place could be very harmful as physical activity goes to zero. In conclusion,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 seems to me there are a lot of potential drawbacks in
this
Linking Words
 matter
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 would
led
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
 me to believe working traditionally is more suitable.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task response
State your view clearly at the start and stick to it through the essay.
Coherence and cohesion
Link each idea with a clear line to the one before and after.
Language use
Fix common grammar and spelling mistakes to help the reader.
Structure
Use 3 clear parts: intro, body with pros, body with cons, and a short conclusion.
Examples
Give at least one real example to show your point.
Language use
Check words like 'belive' and 'gas' and use the right form and space.
Content
The essay states a clear view on the topic.
Structure
There is an attempt to use separate paragraphs for ideas.
Content
The main ideas of pros and cons are present.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: