IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe bicycles have a lot of advantages whereas others believe bicycles have more disadvantages. Discuss both and give your opinion.

Bicycles
Use synonyms
 are an essential part of modern life. Some individuals believe that
bicycles
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 have merits.
Whereas
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 others are against
this
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 idea. In my view, I strongly agree that
bicycles
Use synonyms
 have positive impacts in modern society, as healthy and easy to
use
Use synonyms
.
This
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 essay will explore both advantages and disadvantages of applying
bikes
Use synonyms
 by supporting relevant examples and insights.
To begin
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 with,there is no doubt that individuals who observe people who
use
Use synonyms
bikes
Use synonyms
 are physically fit. To illustrate,the teenagers in Oman have a suitable body
due to
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this
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 transport. A recent example at the University of Nizwa shows that approximately 65% of adults who arrive in
this
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 administration have physical and mental health issues compared with students who
use
Use synonyms
 public transportation.
Thus
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,
bikes
Use synonyms
 are the main tool to reduce obesity in
this
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 era.
By contrast
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,there are several drawbacks to using
bicycles
Use synonyms
. A key negative is that accidents appear rapidly because of eco-friendly vehicles. To demonstrate, numerous citizens often go to work quickly by
this
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 means do not take care of their vehicles.
For instance
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, in Oman,especially in a small village which lost eight teenagers
due to
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 motorcycles.That means no one has trust in any transformation , even easy to
use
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.
As a result
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, if residents ignore the
use
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 of eco-friendly vehicles, they will lose their lives. In conclusion,I am convinced that
bicycles
Use synonyms
 are a vital tool in traffic jams.
However
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, people should be careful when they service them. From my perspective, I agree with using
bikes
Use synonyms
 because the outcomes are not limited only to people but
also
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 have a profound impact on society.

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structure
Plan your essay. Use one clear idea per paragraph and start with a topic sentence.
task
State your view in the intro and restate it in the conclusion to make it clear.
development
Give more detail to each point. Use one or two ideas per paragraph and explain with simple facts or imagined examples.
cohesion
Use easy linking words like and, but, also, therefore to show how ideas fit.
language
Check grammar and sentence length. Break long sentences into two shorter ones.
evidence
Make sure examples are relevant and clearly tied to the point you make.
accuracy
Be careful with facts or numbers; make sure they are plausible.
tone
Clear view and strong opinion are stated.
content
Some good real-world ideas aid argument.
evidence
Effort to give examples from Oman.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • bike
  • bicycle
  • good
  • bad
  • health
  • money
  • cheap
  • cost
  • air
  • noise
  • traffic
  • park
  • short
  • trip
  • weather
  • rain
  • hills
  • safety
  • risk
  • crash
  • theft
  • lock
  • repair
  • tires
  • city
  • people
  • work
  • school
  • plan
  • idea
  • solution
  • improve
  • choice
  • benefit
  • problem
  • balance
  • view
  • opinion
  • conclusion
  • share
  • move
  • lanes
  • bike lanes
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