IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people believe that using mobile phones and the internet has reduced face-to-face communication between people.

It has become a debate among
the
Correct article usage
apply
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individuals that using mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 and the
internet
Use synonyms
reduced
Verb problem
has reduced
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in person
Use the right word
in-person
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 interaction among
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion to
the
Correct article usage
a
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 large extent. In the following
paragraphs
Add a comma
paragraphs,
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i
Fix capitalization
I
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 will discuss the reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 To commence with the idea
that
Change preposition
of
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 why some people believe that
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and electronic devices
such
Linking Words
 as mobile
phones
Use synonyms
put
Verb problem
have
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effect
Correct article usage
an effect
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 on
Use synonyms
face to
Use the right word
face-to-face
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face
Use synonyms
 communication. The one main reason is wireless connections. By using
the
Correct article usage
apply
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mobile
Use synonyms
phones
Punctuation problem
phones,
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 one can easily do various
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of work in their
day to day
Use the right word
day-to-day
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 life. There is no need to connect a person physically.
Hence
Linking Words
 , it becomes easier for the individuals to get
done
Correct word order
apply
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all the work
on
Correct word order
done on
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time
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, large
organizations
Change the spelling
organisations
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 prefer
mostly
Rephrase
apply
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to do online meetings because it not only saves
time
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 but
helps
Rephrase
also helps
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 them
to
Verb problem
apply
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manage
workload
Correct pronoun usage
their workload
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into
Change preposition
in
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 less
time
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, they are able to perform
good
Rephrase
well
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on
Change preposition
in
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 their workplace.
The another
Correct determiner usage
Another
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 reason behind is
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
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 of
time
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. In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era, most
of
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apply
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individuals do not have
time
Use synonyms
 even to talk with their families
due
Linking Words
to
Use the right word
so
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Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
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they prefer using mobiles to connect
their
Change preposition
with their
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love
Replace the word
loved
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 ones.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 using mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 has reduced
Use synonyms
face to
Use the right word
face-to-face
show examples
face
Use synonyms
 communication among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people but there are various
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of merits of using
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 which can not be neglected

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improvement
The essay has a clear view but the end is not strong. Add a short conclusion that restates your view and lists 2 main ideas.
language
Use simple, clear words. Shorter sentences help. Use linking words like first, also, but, and then to show how ideas connect.
content
Add one or two real examples with more detail to show your point.
stance
Your view is clear in the essay.
content
You give a reason for your view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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