IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is true that a small proportion of people earn higher
wages
Use synonyms
 than others in certain countries. Many people reckon that it stimulates a country's economic growth,
whereas
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 others contend that everyone should be paid an equal salary.
This
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 essay will not only discuss both perspectives but
also
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 present my opinion. I believe that high
wages
Use synonyms
 are critical for national development. On the one hand, some individuals argue that reducing income disparity can mitigate the psychological toll of social comparison. In highly unequal societies, individuals often experience status anxiety when they observe the conspicuous consumption of the wealthy,
such
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 as luxury cars or designer goods. When the average worker cannot afford these symbols of success, it often results in a sense of relative deprivation and frustration. By narrowing the wage gap, governments can foster a more content and cohesive society, where citizens are less driven by the pressure to compete with their peers.
On the other hand
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, others opine that high incomes are beneficial for a country's development because they attract people around the globe to migrate to those countries which pay well for their efforts.
For example
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, nations like the United States attract high-level experts by offering competitive and high-level salaries.
This
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 brain gain allows the nation to lead in sectors
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
such
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 as technology, finance, and healthcare, as it has skilled workers who drive innovation and increase the country's
overall
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 productivity. I believe that high
wages
Use synonyms
 act as incentives for encouraging individuals to excel in challenging fields.
This
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 perspective motivates them to work hard, invest their time, skills and resources to achieve goals. To illustrate, the medical profession is a highly lucrative field that stimulates residents to study for 10 years and spend a large amount of money to get a degree. If everyone is paid the same, there is no reason for them to pursue their career in the field.
Thus
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, high
wages
Use synonyms
 act as rewards for their efforts and skills. In conclusion,
although
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 distributing income can help reduce social inequality, I firmly believe that high
wages
Use synonyms
 are crucial. They not only attract international expertise but
also
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 ensure that a country’s own citizens are motivated to work hard and contribute to the nation’s growth.

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task response
Your essay shows a clear view and you discuss both sides with some proof. You could add more exact facts or clear numbers to back your points.
coherence
Use clear topic sentences in each paragraph. Keep one main idea per paragraph and add a short link to the next idea.
coherence
Intro and conclusion are present. In the intro, say what you will discuss and state your view. In the conclusion, restate your view and give a quick summary.
coherence
Link phrases like 'however', 'also', 'in addition' help flow. Don’t repeat the same words too much.
task response
Examples are good. Try to add numbers or real facts, or simple data, to show how wages affect growth or migration.
overall
Clear choice of view from start to end.
content
Two sides are well shown with examples.
conclusion
Conclusion nicely repeats the view and ends well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealth inequality
  • economic growth
  • motivation
  • talent acquisition
  • consumer spending
  • tax revenue
  • redistributing wealth
  • market forces
  • income disparity
  • social stability
  • freedom of choice
  • meritocracy
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