Some celebrities are famous because of their wealth and glamour. Some people believe they can set a bad example for young people. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some
celebrities
are well-known worldwide for their abundance and allure
while
some
people
think they can serve as bad role models for younger
people
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
.
Such
opinion can be released from the fact that plenty of nowadays famous
people
got their status without being great scholars in their childhood, what actually a lot of parents expect from their children, which can cause a fatal loss of desire to learn and study from the younger generation. Famous
people
achieved great success in their lives, showing perseverance and purposefulness in reaching their goals, so every person has what to learn from them. A lot of
celebrities
often do podcasts and are interviewed on different shows, telling the truth of their journey and motivating others to attain the same, setting an affirmative example for humanity all around the world,
however
,
this
also
has its negative reflections. Despite being successful and provided, a majority of stars did not gain huge educational progress in school, as many of them tell themselves,
however
,
this
does not mean dropping out at all, how many younger
people
perceive it, which can have a negative impact on their future longings and even ruin them,
also
showing the negative example of life from famous
people
's side. Not paying a lot of attention to schooling
does not indicate no
Rewrite the sentence
does not indicate any
indicate no
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education at all,
celebrities
just mean that they more cared about things, which they
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
could build their future and showed enormous results.
To conclude
, I totally disagree with the statement, since famous
people
's accomplishments can not show a negative impact on students and scholars as it depends on how they understand stars and how they are going to build their future themselves. Every person should follow his or her own way and never others,
celebrities
just want to encourage us to start progressing, not to follow them.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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