IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there is more advantage to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

Many individuals like to live in an
apartment
Use synonyms
,
while
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 others argue that living in a
house
Use synonyms
 is more convenient.
This
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 essay will discuss
this
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 topic from both pros and cons
then
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 I will express my opinion. On the one hand, living in an
apartment
Use synonyms
 has many advantages.
Firstly
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, it is cheaper than owning a
house
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.
Secondly
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, an
apartment
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 is suitable for a small family,
as well as
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 for individuals who are just beginning to establish their lives.
Additionally
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, renting an
apartment
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 allows people to change their accommodation for a bigger or more appropriate place.
For example
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, when a couple begins a family and welcomes a child, they often need to move to a more spacious home. Another point to consider is that young adults and new employees require time to establish financial stability, so living in an
apartment
Use synonyms
 is less expensive than living in a
house
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, a
house
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 has many advantages. It provides features
such
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 as ample space, and it
also
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 offers independence and great privacy.
In addition
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, an independent unit provides a private garden and a playground for children, making it an ideal choice for a growing family.
Moreover
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, possessing a
house
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 helps a family to accumulate
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 wealth as they pay for the mortgage over the years.
To conclude
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, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question. Renting an
apartment
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 does not require a long-term commitment, giving people the freedom to move to a better place whenever they need to.
Nevertheless
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, owning a
house
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 provides a strong sense of freedom and privacy. Ultimately, I believe that the choice depends on a person's preferences and financial situation.

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task response
Task response: The essay talks about good and bad of both homes, but it does not say clearly if houses are more useful. State your choice clearly at the start and end. Give direct reasons why your choice is better or worse, with one or two clear examples.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use one clear idea per paragraph. Start with a short sentence that tells the point. Use linking words to move from one idea to the next. Check that the flow from intro to body to conclusion is smooth.
organization
Clear structure with intro, body and conclusion.
cohesion
Good use of linking phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'.
content
The conclusion states an opinion and ties it to the topic.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • privacy
  • maintenance costs
  • upkeep
  • amenities
  • security
  • lock-and-leave lifestyle
  • commute
  • affordable
  • shared walls
  • suburbs
  • outdoor area
  • restrictions
  • responsibilities
What to do next:
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