The number of people who are at the risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What are the reasons for growth in the overweight people in the society. How can this problem be solved.

More and more people think that maintaining good fitness through lifestyle choices is more beneficial.

However

Linking Words

, others argue that relying on medical treatment and

healthcare

Use synonyms

should not be operated by profit-making companies. In my opinion, I believe both views are equally important, government plays a crucial role in supporting public health . On the other hand,it is believed by some people that investing in preventive

healthcare

Use synonyms

can significantly reduce the number of communities who develop lifestyle-related diseases ,

such

Linking Words

as obesity, and heart condition. In fact, by promoting balanced diets and regular physical activity, the government can reduce the long-term public health system.

In addition

Linking Words

, public awareness campaigns

also

Linking Words

educate humans about the dangers of smoking, and the nutrition poor.

For example

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, a study published in the UK concluded that 90 per cent of those who engaged in at least 30 minutes of daily exercise were far less likely to require long-term medical care.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, other people argue that

in other words

Linking Words

healthcare

Use synonyms

should not be driven by profit, as

this

Linking Words

often leads to prioritising expensive treatment over affordable prevention.

In other words

Linking Words

, when private companies run medical services, their focus may shift towards generating income rather than improving public health outcomes.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, essential treatments may become inaccessible to low-income populations, widening fitness inequality.

While

Linking Words

individuals are responsible for making healthy choices governments influence those choices through laws.

For instance

Linking Words

, must policies banning harmful additives, and providing access to clean public spaces all encourage healthier lifestyles. In conclusion, it is believed by some individuals that though medical care remains essential, a greater focus on prevention and public responsibility is more sustainable.

While

Linking Words

others, disagree and say that governments must lead these efforts and ensure

healthcare

Use synonyms

serves individuals, not profits. I believe both views are equally crucial.

rkmr1421

Jun 28, 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Make your introduction clearer by stating the main points you will discuss.

coherence and cohesion

Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to help readers follow your ideas.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points, especially on how government can promote health.

task achievement

Balance both sides of the argument more evenly; ensure each viewpoint is given equal attention.

coherence and cohesion

In your conclusion, summarize the main points more clearly to reinforce your argument.

task achievement

You present a balanced view by acknowledging both sides of the argument.

task achievement

You use some relevant examples from research that strengthen your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

296 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Sedentary lifestyle
Obesity
Processed foods
Caloric intake
Socioeconomic status
Nutritional education
Metabolic rate
Physical inactivity
Dietary habits
Health literacy
Psychological well-being
Chronic diseases
Body mass index (BMI)
Lifestyle modifications
Preventive measures
Healthcare interventions
Food deserts
Portion control
Weight management
Exercise regimen
Public health policy

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The number of people who are at the risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What are the reasons for growth in the overweight people in the society. How can this problem be solved.

Your opinion

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures? What measures should be taken to reduce this pressure?

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain answer.

Many people believe that working from home is beneficial for both employees and employers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The government should invest in education and health care. Governments should invest these funds in tourism. To what extent do you agree with this statement?