IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people believe that the best way to protect the environment is for governments to impose strict laws on industries and individuals. Others think there are better ways to encourage environmental protection. Discuss both views andgive your opinion.

There is an ongoing debate about whether
governments
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 should rely primarily on strict
laws
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 to protect the environment or adopt other approaches.
While
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 legal regulation plays an important role in controlling environmental damage, I believe that
education
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 should be prioritised as a more effective long-term solution. On the one hand, imposing strict
laws
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 is the most direct way for
governments
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 to address environmental problems. Environmental degradation often involves negative externalities, meaning that companies may ignore their environmental responsibilities in order to reduce production costs. Since voluntary environmental protection cannot cover all highly polluting industries, it is necessary for
governments
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 to introduce strict
laws
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 and emission standards. By imposing punishments and production bans, the cost of illegal activities is increased, which can force enterprises and individuals to change their behaviour.
Therefore
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, legal measures are particularly effective in achieving short-term control and compliance.
On the other hand
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, relying solely on
laws
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 is unlikely to provide a lasting solution.
Although
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 strict regulations may deter serious violations, compliance is often motivated by fear of punishment rather than genuine awareness. Once supervision is weakened, environmentally harmful behaviour may reappear.
Moreover
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, many environmental problems stem from individuals’ daily habits, which cannot be effectively changed through occasional sanctions.
According to
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 an investigation conducted in Shanghai, students who receive regular environmental
education
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 engage in around 40% fewer environmentally harmful behaviours than those who do not.
This
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 suggests that
education
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 addresses the root causes of environmental degradation by shaping long-term behaviour. In conclusion,
although
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 strict environmental
laws
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 remain necessary for controlling serious violations, they should not be regarded as the primary strategy.
Education
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 plays a more decisive role in encouraging environmental protection because it targets underlying behavioural causes and produces lasting change.
Therefore
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,
governments
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 should prioritise educational approaches,
while
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 using legal measures as a supporting tool rather than the main solution.

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task response
Your answer is good and clear. Keep a strong view in the end and give more proof or facts for each idea.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with a clear flow. Use small steps to move from one idea to the next and keep one idea per paragraph.
content
Clear view and fair balance of sides.
structure
Good plan and easy read.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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