IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

🔶More and more people are eating healthy food and exercising regularly. 🔸What are the reasons for that? What can we do to make other people do the same?

Nowadays, many
people
Use synonyms
 follow a healthy lifestyle by eating healthy food and exercising regularly.
This
Linking Words
 essay will first look at the reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 tend to follow
this
Linking Words
 type of lifestyle and
then
Linking Words
 outline what we could do in order to encourage more
people
Use synonyms
 to do the same. One reason is that maintaining a healthy lifestyle has a positive effect on
people
Use synonyms
's well-being.
This
Linking Words
 can be achieved by eating healthy food, sleeping at night for eight hours, and even walking for at least 5,000 steps every day. Another key factor is that protecting their mental health, which playing sports plays a crucial role in protecting the brain from overthinking and reducing stress. A study published in 2007 found links between brain health and daily exercise, showing that most brain states of the brains were improved after exercise.
This
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 confirmed its long-term effect on our physical and mental health.
This
Linking Words
 strengthens the view that doing sports matters.
However
Linking Words
, there are many ways we can support
people
Use synonyms
. One of the ways is by establishing public activities that involve a lot of famous
people
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as artists, singers, and athletes.
This
Linking Words
 is likely one of the useful ways that influencers can encourage and motivate their fans . Another thing is providing essential needs, like a gym and places
Use synonyms
people
Rephrase
where people
show examples
 can do sports
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, and most importantly , at affordable prices. In conclusion, there are many reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 tend to exercise daily and eat healthy food. It is
also
Linking Words
 true that the solutions can result in significant success in future.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Try to give more clear reasons and two or three examples for why people choose a healthy life, and show how this may help in real life.
coherence
Link ideas with clear words and keep each paragraph one idea. Finish with a short end that sums up the view.
grammar
Check sentences for length and use simple marks to end them. Use 'and', 'but', 'also' to join ideas. Keep a safe space after each period.
structure
The essay has a clear plan: intro, body, and conclusion.
content
The writer uses simple facts and a few examples to back up ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: