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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while othes argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

It is often asserted that educational resources used in digital
technology
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
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computer
Punctuation problem
computer,
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 are increasingly utilised. I firmly agree.
While
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 others argue that it is leading to negative consequences, I believe that
aforementioned
Correct article usage
the aforementioned
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way
Use synonyms
 of gaining knowledge is not only paramount, but
also
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 has its drawbacks like addiction, depression and lack of socialisation. The consequences
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due to
Change preposition
of
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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digital
technology
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 are urgent in order to
stabilize
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stabilise
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 mental health.
This
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 is because the use of
computers
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 may negatively influence the population by factors
such
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 as
addition
Use the right word
addiction
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, depression and lack of socialisation.
For instance
Linking Words
, some individuals overuse
computers
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, staying at home.
As a result
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, it negatively
effects
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affects
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 their productivity
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 what's more, it reduces their ability to communicate, which makes it a disadvantage. On the flip side, it is contended that
computers
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 positively
effect
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affect
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 the
way
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 of gaining information with greater ease.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that digital
technology
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 is an easy-to-get resource
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 in the previous years increased by a large number of
people
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.
For example
Linking Words
, the Coursera website offers free courses in order to gain knowledge and achievement,
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 encourages
people
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 to use
this
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way
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 of digital
technology
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, computer utilisation is now easier to
get
Verb problem
access
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, with assurance of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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full access
of
Change preposition
to
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 the sample website aforementioned
above
Rephrase
apply
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and other educational resources. Ultimately, despite some
people
Use synonyms
's concerns, I firmly agree that
computers
Use synonyms
 are being used more and more in education.
Consequently
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, many
free-to-get
Use the right word
free-to-play
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 resources are positively
effecting
Use the right word
affecting
show examples
 the
way
Use synonyms
 of gaining knowledge,
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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despite the drawbacks
such
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 as addiction, depression and lack of socialisation, which may ruin someone's mental health,
encourages
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourage
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people
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 to utilise
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.

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structure
Plan your essay with a clear start, middle, and end. State your view at the end.
coherence
Use small linking words to show how ideas go from one to another (and, but, also, however).
grammar
Check small form mistakes and word choice, like 'addiction' not 'addition', and use short, plain words.
content
The essay shows both sides and gives a final view.
examples
There is a real example (Coursera) used to back a point.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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