IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people prefer to live in house, while others fee that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

There has been an ongoing debate about whether living in a house or an apartment gains more advantages. I firmly believe that
although
Linking Words
 a house may offer private space,
however
Linking Words
, it is completely overshadowed by an apartment that provides trustworthy security
as well as
Linking Words
 a close-knit neighbourhood. On the one hand,
apartments
Use synonyms
 bring safety for residents.
This
Linking Words
 is because today's
apartments
Use synonyms
 are frequently concentrated and united into blocks of flats that have a high density of people.
This
Linking Words
 fosters owners of these departments to reinforce and strengthen security systems by strict regulations,
such
Linking Words
 as verifying inhabitants' identities.
As a result
Linking Words
, individuals who live in these
apartments
Use synonyms
 are actually safe
due to
Linking Words
 the protectiveness of professional staff.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, living in
houses
Use synonyms
 may offer private environments.
In other words
Linking Words
, if people live in
houses
Use synonyms
, they may do everything, yet they are not supervised by their neighbours or generate unpleasant noises that annoy nearby households.
This
Linking Words
 will empower individuals to conduct more activities with their families. Eventually, people are more comfortable and free when they live in their own
houses
Use synonyms
, where their privacy is maximized.
In addition
Linking Words
, settling down in
apartments
Use synonyms
 promotes neighbourhood bonds. To clarify, numerous households living next to others create opportunities for them to share their common lifestyles which will keep the harmony of residents.
This
Linking Words
 may lead to the fact that they attempt to fit in with where they live, and
then
Linking Words
 they will not only empathize with each other but
also
Linking Words
 show their enthusiasm in helping when some of them encounter difficulties. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 both
apartments
Use synonyms
 and
houses
Use synonyms
 show their benefits, I strongly believe that
apartments
Use synonyms
 far outweigh
houses
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 reliable security and strong neighbourhood links, regardless of the privacy of
houses
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Try to be more clear with your main points and reasons in each paragraph. Each point should link directly to your main argument.
task achievement
Add specific examples to support your arguments. Examples help to make your points stronger and clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure all your sentences relate closely to your main idea. This will help your essay flow better.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion on the topic, stating your preference for living in an apartment.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are well-structured, with clear topic sentences introducing the main ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Privacy
  • Living space
  • Gardening
  • Yard
  • Customization
  • Renovate
  • Building regulations
  • Ownership
  • Noise levels
  • Detached properties
  • Investment value
  • Appreciate
  • Long-term investment
  • Community
  • Social interaction
  • Shared facilities
  • Proximity
  • Neighbors
What to do next:
Look at other essays: