IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Modern agricultural technologies such as fertilizer pesticide and modern machinery can feed the world better.However it is negative to human health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In an era of rapid population growth, agriculture has become an essential part of
respond
Wrong verb form
responding to
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 global
food
Use synonyms
 demands.There is a concern that the excessive
use
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 of pesticides and
fertilizers
Change the spelling
fertilisers
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 causes
health
Use synonyms
 problems.
However
Linking Words
, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 perspective.I believe that
people
Use synonyms
 cannot abandon these technologies.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
people
Use synonyms
 think that chemical
fertilizers
Change the spelling
fertilisers
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 and pesticides only bring negative problems, but
this
Linking Words
 is a misconception. The primary reason is that
while
Linking Words
 modern society
consider
Correct subject-verb agreement
considers
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 environmental conservation and organic farming, the traditional
use
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 of modern techniques remains the most reliable way to guarantee
the
Correct article usage
a
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 stable
food
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 supply.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
Genetically
Fix capitalization
genetically
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Modify
Wrong verb form
modified
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 crops are often
criticized
Change the spelling
criticised
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 for
health
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 risks, they provide enough
food
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 to feed the poor.
For instance
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,in many developing nations, these crops are the only natural resources that can grow in infertile land, saving millions from starvation.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
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 are still demanding those technologies. Admittedly, the
use
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 of pesticides can lead to additional costs
on
Change preposition
for
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health
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 and soil depletion.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, focusing on long-term
health
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 risks is too far away when compared to the immediate threat of hunger.If the
use
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 of modern techniques and
fertilizers
Change the spelling
fertilisers
show examples
 were stopped, it would lead to
food
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not
Rephrase
apply
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safety and a significant drop in crop yields.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 would result in widespread famine among the growing global population. From
this
Linking Words
 perspective, the threat of starvation is far more dangerous than potential
health
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 concerns. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 the search for healthier farming methods is appealing, it can never replace the efficiency of modern technology in the short
time
Check wording
term
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. The value of being able to feed billions of
people
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 remains unmatched. We must
recognize
Change the spelling
recognise
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 that the immediate need to prevent hunger is a more urgent mission than the long-term goal of perfect
health
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.

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development
Make your view clear in the first line and keep it the same to the end. Do not drift away from the main idea.
structure
Use clear and small links to move from one idea to the next. Each paragraph should have one main idea with a explain.
language
Fix grammar and use short, easy sentences. Check for run on and comma use.
conclusion
Add a strong end that repeats your main point and ends with a clear line.
content
Your main idea is that new farming tech can feed many people.
content
You give a real example about GM crops and poor nations.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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