IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that goverment is wasting money on the art and that this money could be better spent somewhere else. To what extent do you agree with this view.

Many think that capital used for
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
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 is a
wastage
Check wording
waste
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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funds, and can be put to better use. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 notion, as
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 believe that
art
Use synonyms
 is a huge part of a
nations
Check wording
nation's
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 identity and can produce
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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 economy.
Art
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 is an ancient form of culture. It has claimed many sectors of human development, building unique identities for tribes in the past, and now for
countries
Use synonyms
. There are many forms of
art
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, like dancing, combat skills, painting and many more. These are different for different regions.
For example
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, Japanese Karate, Indian Bhatarnatyam or Korean K-pop. These activities have given a global recognition to these
countries
Use synonyms
 increasing their international value. We
also
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 compete in various artistic events
such
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 as, Judo and painting, internationally.
On the other hand
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, prospering
artforms
Use the right word
art forms
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 can lead to an increase in the wealth of the place of
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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 origin.
Art
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 has not only been used as a form of entertainment, but has
also
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 been traded for money. First world
countries
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, like
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 United Kingdom and the
The
Remove the redundancy
apply
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United States of America, display their popular singers,
subsequently
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, increasing their GDP by selling their shows and live performances.
Whereas
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 other
countries
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 like Japan and China
,
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apply
show examples
 make money from animations, which is yet another modern sector in artistry. In conclusion, fine arts and talent display
,
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apply
show examples
 are profitable sectors. They play a major role in the country's growth by giving it recognition around the
wrold
Correct your spelling
world
.
Moreover
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, if invested in considerably, it
also
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 guarantees a hefty return. Artists are not only entertainers, but
also
Linking Words
 celebrities in today's age.

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content/structure
Make your view clear in the first line. Say 'I agree' and keep this view in all parts. Use short, plain sentences.
content
Give one or two strong reasons. Explain each with a simple example that links to money or value.
structure
Use small, clear sentences. Put one idea in each paragraph. Use easy links like and, but, also, for example to move ideas.
grammar
Check spell and cap. Use one form of 'nation's' and 'GDP' and avoid big mistakes with names.
idea
You show a clear view that art helps a country.
content
You use many real life examples about art in different lands.
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