IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some countries invest in specialized sports facilities for top athletes but not for the average people. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some countries prioritise elite
athletes
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 by providing them with specialised
sports
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facilities
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,
while
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 other average people are often overlooked. In my opinion,
this
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 is a negative development because it can discourage the wider population from participating in
sport
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 and reduce
overall
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 motivation among non-professional
athletes
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. Respecting famous
athletes
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 is a common practice worldwide, as they are highly regarded by both fans and governments. When these
athletes
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 win important competitions, they can bring considerable prestige and economic benefits to their countries.
Consequently
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, governments often support them by providing modern
sports
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facilities
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,
such
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 as advanced training equipment, high-quality
sports
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 gear, and
experienced
Correct article usage
an experienced
show examples
 coach.
As a result
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, elite
athletes
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 feel motivated and engage in more intensive training in order to achieve success in future competition. It is true that
this
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 development can encourage the government;
however
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, ordinary
sports
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 members might suffer from
this
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 ongoing situation. If there is no equality, it can negatively affect average
sports
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 members, who may lose their motivation for their
sport
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.
Moreover
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, unless they have access to sufficient
sports
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facilities
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, they may not receive sufficient training, which plays a vital role in enhancing the performance of
athletes
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.
Therefore
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, support from the state is essential, as it directly helps them to stay motivated and participate in
sport
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 regularly, just like famous
athletes
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.
Otherwise
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, they may face difficulties during competition, which could reduce their chances of winning. In conclusion,
while
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 investing in specialised
facilities
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 for elite
athletes
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 can bring benefits, it is crucial for countries to ensure fairness and equal opportunity for all
sports
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 members. I believe that prioritising only famous
athletes
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 is a negative development, as it may discourage ordinary
athletes
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 and hinder the
overall
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 growth of
sport
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.

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structure
Plan your essay before you write. State your view in the first paragraph and give two or three clear reasons.
structure
Use one idea per paragraph. Start with a topic sentence and end with a sentence that links to your view.
language
Use simple words and short sentences. This makes the text easy to read and helps avoid mistakes.
development
Give a real or clear example to show your point. This makes your view stronger.
accuracy
Check small grammar mistakes, such as 'an experienced coach' instead of 'a experienced coach'.
content
The essay shows a clear view in the introduction and a restatement in the conclusion.
structure
There are good links between ideas with words like 'consequently' and 'therefore'.
content
The topic is a real issue and the essay gives reasonable reasons.
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