"Prevention is better than cure". Researching and treating diseases is too costly. So it would be better to invest in preventive measure To what extent do you agree?

It is often said that taking preventive measures to protect ourselves from illness is much better than finding a cure because diagnosis and medication are cost-effective. In my opinion, I strongly agree with
this
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statement because
such
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method
Correct article usage
a method
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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us to protect our wellness and save money on treatments.
To begin
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with, as the saying goes, we should protect our health from illness.
This
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is mainly because taking precautionary actions encourages people to cautiously focus on protecting themselves from harmful disorders, which leads to a healthy life.
In addition
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, taking
such
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precautions motivates individuals to incorporate healthy practices,
such
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as eating balanced food
,
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apply
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and regular exercise, which influence them to adopt a healthy lifestyle.
For instance
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, residents are investing in exercise equipment as they believe keeping healthy saves money in future.
Furthermore
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, research and diagnosis are cost-effective.
This
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means that some disorders are hard to diagnose in order to provide a proper cure, as it requires more time to research, in order to find the exact cause.
For instance
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, Cancer is one of the deadliest conditions, which has caused millions of deaths worldwide. Medical scientists spent almost a decade finding a suitable cure for cancer.
Moreover
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, patients have to spend a fortune on cancer treatments, which are often ineffective.
Therefore
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, it is essential to stay healthy to prevent us from
such
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serious health issues. In conclusion, many proponents believe that investing in preventive measures is an effective way to protect from diseases, as diagnosis and treatments are costly. I strongly agree with
this
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because it helps people to stay healthy
,
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apply
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while
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preventing harmful health problems

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structure
Plan before you write. Make a small plan with one main idea in the first part, then two reasons, then a short final line.
structure
Make the link between ideas clear. Use simple linking words to show how ideas go from one to the next.
content
Give more clear examples that fit the task. The cancer line is big; use small, easy examples that show cost or care.
grammar
Watch form and tone. Check grammar like 'such method help us' and 'which has caused' so it fits meaning.
content
The writer takes a clear view and repeats it in the end.
structure
Good use of link words to show flow from paragraph to paragraph.
content
The main idea is about health and cost, which fits the task well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive measures
  • incidence of diseases
  • quality of life
  • complications and suffering
  • cost-effective
  • ongoing expenses
  • public health education
  • awareness campaigns
  • government policies
  • vaccinations
  • screenings
  • healthy lifestyle promotion
  • healthcare costs
  • long term benefits
  • disease prevention
  • healthcare funding
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