IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that governments should spend more money on healthcare than on arts and sports. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The question of whether spending
money
Use synonyms
 on
healthcare
Use synonyms
 is better than spending on arts and sports has sparked a significant amount of debate in recent years.
While
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
this
Linking Words
 trend brings various drawbacks, I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view and
support
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 the idea of spending
money
Use synonyms
 on
healthcare
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.
This
Linking Words
 is primarily because it leads to government
support
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 that reduces medical costs for low-income families, and
furthermore
Linking Words
, it contributes to more funds that can
support
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 health campaigns, vaccinations, and education programs. The main reason why I agree with
this
Linking Words
 view is that spending more
money
Use synonyms
 on
healthcare
Use synonyms
 reduces medical costs for low-income families.
This
Linking Words
 means that
people
Use synonyms
 can receive proper treatment without facing serious financial problems.
For example
Linking Words
, free medical services and vaccinations help poor families avoid expensive hospital bills. Another important reason is that increased funding allows governments to
support
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 health campaigns and preventive programs.
As a result
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, diseases can be prevented before they become serious.
This
Linking Words
 helps improve the
overall
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 quality of life in society. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 focus on the disadvantages, I believe that spending more
money
Use synonyms
 on
healthcare
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 is highly beneficial.
This
Linking Words
because
Verb problem
is because
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the authorities supporting that
reduces
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduce
show examples
 medical costs for low-income
people
Use synonyms
 and
enhances
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhance
show examples
 the
overall
Linking Words
 quality of life in society.

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task
State a clear position at the start and keep it clear through the essay.
task
Add a counter-argument and a short refute to show you see other views.
coherence
Give more detail for each idea and link each idea to a specific example.
task response
The writer shows a clear stance on healthcare spending.
coherence
Use of linking words helps flow between ideas.
evidence
Examples of free care and vaccines support the point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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