IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

some people beleive zoos have no purpose in todays world and should be closed. what problems do zoos bring? what are the alternatives to zoos if they are clsoed?

Zoos
Use synonyms
 are
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
common in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
many
country in
Check wording
countries
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
worldwide it is considered a type of entertainment for all ages.
However
Linking Words
,
zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
show examples
 are sometimes maybe from the
civilization
Change the spelling
civilisation
show examples
. More problems will
doing
Verb problem
be doing
show examples
 the zoo,
lmost
Correct your spelling
most
zoos
Use synonyms
to be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 predatory
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 as,
crocodile
Check wording
foxes
show examples
 and
fox
Check wording
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tiger
Fix the agreement mistake
tigers
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
another
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
zoos
Use synonyms
 don't
something
Verb problem
have something
show examples
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
 example, a cow or sheep. The alternative to the
zoos
Use synonyms
very
Verb problem
is very
show examples
 little.  Many issues in the
zoos
Use synonyms
 because most
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 do not provide complete protection for all visitors in the
garden
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
,
Maybe
Fix capitalization
maybe
show examples
 more from animal pens
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not always
clean
Verb problem
being clean
show examples
 reason
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the spread
oders
Correct your spelling
of odours
 in the place
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
, this
show examples
 results of
causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
show examples
 diseases or death. Some animals
are attacked
Wrong verb form
attack
show examples
 the people in the zoo
garden
Use synonyms
. There are
alternative
Fix the agreement mistake
alternatives
show examples
 in case of closure
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
zoos
Use synonyms
 .
The opening
Correct determiner usage
Opening
show examples
 the special places under government supervision with
Sterilization
Change the spelling
sterilisation
show examples
 and purification without harm
on
Change preposition
during
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
visits .
Mane
Use the right word
Many
show examples
persons are
Verb problem
people
show examples
 can
buying
Wrong verb form
buy
show examples
 fantastic
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
 instance,
cat
Correct article usage
a cat
show examples
 and
chicken
Correct article usage
a chicken
show examples
 or birds put
in
Correct pronoun usage
them in
show examples
 the house
garden
Use synonyms
 and
paying
Wrong verb form
pay
show examples
 attention to
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. In conclusion,
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
show examples
 essay
are discussion
Wrong verb form
discusses
show examples
 problems
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
zoos
Use synonyms
 and alternatives . Some issues because
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of attention to cleaning
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the zoos
show examples
zoos
Check wording
zoo's
show examples
garden
Use synonyms
 every
day
Punctuation problem
day,
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
will
Verb problem
can
show examples
 cause many
diaseas
Correct your spelling
diseases
. But
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
there are alternatives when it
closed
Verb problem
is closed
show examples
 in the future .
This
Linking Words
 thing will create
Correct article usage
a developement
show examples
developement enviroment
Correct your spelling
development environment
 and cleaning
also
Linking Words
 , renewed
affect
Use the right word
effect
show examples
 on the country and government in the years
coming
Wrong verb form
to come
show examples
.

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structure
Plan first. Say what you will show. Then write two parts: problems and ways to keep or close. End with a short line.
coherence
Make each idea in its own paragraph. Use simple linking words like and, but, also, so, then.
content
Use clear goal in intro. State your view or main idea. Then back it up with small details.
language
Use only common words. Short sentences help. Check for spelling and small errors.
content
Give one or two real ideas or facts as example. Do not guess.
structure
The essay shows some plan and a future idea is in mind.
coherence
There is a start of an end line and some link words.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • zoo
  • animal
  • wild
  • space
  • care
  • food
  • water
  • health
  • stress
  • peace
  • cage
  • move
  • breed
  • baby
  • learn
  • teach
  • open
  • safe
  • protect
  • save
  • rescue
  • home
  • nature
  • park
  • money
  • people
  • rule
What to do next:
Look at other essays: