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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts above show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia’s share of the Japanese tourist market. Write a report of at least 150 words describing the information show

The given bar graph depicts the total of
Japanese
Use synonyms
 travellers visiting abroad from 1985 to 1995,
while
Linking Words
 the line graph shows the proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Australia's share of the
Japanese
Use synonyms
 tourism industry.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the majority of
tourists
Use synonyms
 from Japan visiting foreign countries was reported in 1995. Meanwhile, there was a significant upward trend for
the
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apply
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Australia's share of
Use synonyms
japanese
Fix capitalization
Japanese
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tourists
Use synonyms
, with the exception of a decline in 1989. It is evident that the least number of
tourists
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 recorded in 1985, which accounted for about five million. The highest figure of
Use synonyms
japanese
Fix capitalization
Japanese
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tourists
Use synonyms
 was reported in the final year, accounting for over 15 million. In terms of
the
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apply
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Australia's percentage of
Use synonyms
japanese
Fix capitalization
Japanese
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tourists
Use synonyms
, there was a clear rise
of
Change preposition
in
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Use synonyms
japanese
Fix capitalization
Japanese
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 visitors during the time span, with a peak at over 7% in 1993. It is noticeable that, in 1985,
the
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Australias's
Fix the agreement mistake
Australia's
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 share was 2% and dramatically increased to nearly 5% during
next
Correct article usage
the next
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 three years. After that, there was a slight decline
travellers
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in travellers
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 experienced in 1989, which accounted for over 4%, before experiencing an increase in the remainder of the given period.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words japanese, tourists with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • tourists
  • travel
  • abroad
  • number
  • increase
  • year
  • country
  • popularity
  • market
  • share
  • Japan
  • Australia
  • significant
  • factors
  • income
  • options
  • global
  • trend
  • consistent
  • role
  • visitors
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