IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The following pie charts show the use of social media by men and women in Australia in 2011 and 2014.

The pie charts illustrate how often
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 in Australia used social
media
Use synonyms
 in two different years
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
2011 and 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 social
media
Use synonyms
 became much more popular for both genders over the three-year period. In general,
women
Use synonyms
 used social
media
Use synonyms
 more frequently than
men
Use synonyms
both
Change preposition
in both
show examples
 2011 and 2014. The percentage of people who never used these platforms decreased significantly.
Use synonyms
Men in
Use the right word
In
show examples
 2011, the largest group was those who never used social
media
Use synonyms
44
Punctuation problem
, 44
show examples
%.
However
Linking Words
, by 2014,
this
Linking Words
 number dropped to 30%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, every day users increased from 25% to 45% in 2014. The group of
men
Use synonyms
 using it once a week stayed almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
, falling slightly from 12% to 9%.
Women
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
showed
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
 but stronger trend. In 2011, only 30% of
women
Use synonyms
 used social
media
Use synonyms
 every day, but
this
Linking Words
 figure jumped
59
Change preposition
to 59
show examples
% in 2014, which is more than half. Interestingly,
once
Rephrase
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
week
Use the right word
once-a-week
show examples
 category decreased from 39% to 10%.
Also
Linking Words
, the number of
women
Use synonyms
 who never used social
media
Use synonyms
 increased from 8% to 22%, which is different from
men
Use synonyms
 trend.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, media with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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