IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Q. Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motorbikes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Improving
road
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safety
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 is a major concern in many countries. Some people believe that increasing the minimum legal
age
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 for driving cars or riding motorbikes is the most effective solution.
While
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 I agree that
age
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 can be a factor in
road
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accidents
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, I do not believe
this
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 is the best way to make roads safer. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, increasing the legal driving
age
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 may help reduce
accidents
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 caused by young and inexperienced drivers. Teenagers often lack the maturity and responsibility needed to drive safely, and their impulsive decisions can lead to dangerous situations.
For example
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, research has shown that drivers under the
age
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 of 20 are more likely to be involved in
road
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accidents
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 compared to older
age
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 groups. Raising the minimum
age
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 could give individuals more time to mature before taking on the responsibility of driving.
However
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,
age
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 alone does not guarantee safe driving. Many
road
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accidents
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 are caused by people of all ages who are distracted, speeding, or driving under the influence. A better way to improve
road
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safety
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 would be to strengthen driving tests, provide better
road
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safety
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 education, and enforce traffic laws more strictly.
For instance
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, countries with strict driving exams and frequent
safety
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 campaigns,
such
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 as Sweden, often have lower accident rates despite allowing younger drivers on the
road
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. In conclusion,
while
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 increasing the legal driving
age
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 might reduce some
accidents
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, I believe that focusing on better training and stronger law enforcement would have a more significant and long-lasting impact on
road
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safety
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.

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tip
Your essay has a clear view and good balance of ideas. To raise the score, make your main stance more direct at the start and add a stronger link between ideas and why you hold that view.
tip
Give more proof or facts to back up claims, and explain how the rules or tests can cut risk. This makes your point stronger.
tip
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. Use words to show steps, like first, then, also, finally, so the reader sees the path of your thought.
note
Use simple, common words and check for any hard words. Try to stay within easy vocab so the reader can follow.
strength
Clear view on the issue.
strength
Good structure with intro, body, and conclusion.
strength
Useful example (Sweden) to show how safety can rise.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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