IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, instead of locally sourced produce, many supermarkets sell a variety of foods imported from countries all over the world. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Over the past few years, the issue of global
products
Use synonyms
 has been widely debated. It is
argue
Wrong verb form
argued
show examples
 that supermarkets should sell more locally sourced goods,
while
Linking Words
 I strongly believe that companies
introduce
Wrong verb form
introducing
show examples
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
 of
foods
Use synonyms
 have many benefits. I will discuss the reasons in the following paragraphs. One of the main reasons is that it improves
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
 physical
health
Use synonyms
. When supermarkets import
more
Correct word choice
a greater
show examples
diversity
Check wording
variety
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh fruits and vegetables, the public
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 more choices to
remain
Verb problem
maintain
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 their daily intake of essential nutrients.
For instance
Linking Words
, nutritional studies indicate that the residents who live near
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
supermarkets,
which
Correct word choice
where
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
they could
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could
Wrong verb form
can
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 purchase
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 variety of
foods
Use synonyms
, they body’s
reports are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 better than the residents who
not
Verb problem
are not
show examples
 able to buy those
products
Use synonyms
. On the whole, several types of
foods
Use synonyms
 play an important role in individuals’ physical
health
Use synonyms
. Admittedly, it is undeniable that it would increase economic challenges by importing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global
products
Use synonyms
. Once the public could choose more
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
show examples
foods
Use synonyms
, they
focus
Wrong verb form
focused
show examples
 more on
oversea
Fix the agreement mistake
overseas
show examples
products
Use synonyms
, leading to the competitiveness between local
foods
Use synonyms
 and global
foods
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, since
imported
Replace the word
the importation of
show examples
 an increasing
of
Check wording
number of
show examples
 international
agricultures
Use the right word
agricultural
show examples
, the
Check wording
products, the
show examples
 market
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 local
products
Use synonyms
declined
Verb problem
has declined
show examples
 gradually.
As a result
Linking Words
, many farmers’
lifehood
Correct your spelling
livelihoods
 and income face significant challenges.
Overall
Linking Words
, the issue of
oversea
Fix the agreement mistake
overseas food
show examples
foods
Use synonyms
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 an essential
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
show examples
 to local farmers.
However
Linking Words
, from the public’s
health
Use synonyms
 perspective to consider, introducing a variety of
foods
Use synonyms
 from different
countries
Punctuation problem
countries,
show examples
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. In conclusion, I firmly believe that importing different types of global
foods
Use synonyms
 could enhance individuals’
health
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, I consider that the advantages of
this
Linking Words
 development outweigh the disadvantages.
While
Linking Words
 there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 still
faces
Verb problem
apply
show examples
some problems in the future,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
society needs to
recognize
Change the spelling
recognise
show examples
 them together.

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structure
Use a clear topic sentence for each paragraph and keep to one main idea.
language
Fix grammar and word use. Many mistakes make meaning hard to see.
content
Give real, simple examples to show your point.
content
Balance view: mention a stronger push for local goods and still show why imports help.
language
Check spelling and form of verbs; use simple present and past forms clearly.
You state a clear view and keep to the idea of 'more variety' in foods.
cohesion
There is a logical structure: intro, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.
cohesion
Some good link words (however, overall) used.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nowadays
  • supermarkets
  • variety
  • imported
  • produce
  • advantage
  • disadvantage
  • consumer
  • choice
  • diet
  • exotic
  • season
  • support
  • economy
  • jobs
  • shelf life
  • waste
  • access
  • growth
  • food supply
  • local
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