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Writing Samples
Band 5

Should people become a vegetarian for health reasons ?To what extend are you agree or disagree?

Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 have different opinions about a vegetarian diet and its benefits.Some individuals believe that being a vegetarian is important for maintaining good health,
while
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 others strongly disagree.
Although
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 both sides have valid arguments,I personally disagree with
this
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 idea because meat is considered an important source of essential nutrients .
To begin
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 with,some
people
Use synonyms
 agree with
this
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 statement for several reasons.They argue that plant-based diets are low in fat , so they reduce the risk of different illnesses
such
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 as heart-related diseases,diabetes and others.Consuming healthy minerals and vitamins leads to better digestion and
immune
Correct article usage
the immune
show examples
 system.
Therefore
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,it is understandable why
people
Use synonyms
hold
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
hold
this
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 opinion ,even though I do not fully support it.
However
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,I firmly disagree because we can lead a healthy lifestyle without giving up on meat and meat products.
For example
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,by doing regular exercise,we can prevent ourselves from different diseases.
Moreover
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,being on a diet or vegetarian can lead to worse conditions like malnutrition or lack of energy , as very low-calorie diets can make
people
Use synonyms
 feel tired and weak.
Hence
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,from my perspective,
this
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 opinion is more convincing and beneficial in the long run. In conclusion,despite the arguments from both sides,I strongly disagree with
this
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 statement.In the future,it is better to keep a balanced diet if you want to stay healthy and energetic.

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task response
In Task Response, make your view clear from the start and stay on it in every paragraph. Add more strong reasons and facts to back your view.
task response
In Task Response, give simple, real facts about health. Name easy facts like protein sources or vitamins and how they help.
coherence and cohesion
In Coherence and Cohesion, link your ideas with words like first, also, but, so, however, therefore. This helps flow.
coherence and cohesion
In Coherence and Cohesion, fix small errors like double space and missing marks. Read aloud to find these.
coherence and cohesion
Use one idea per paragraph. Intro states view, body gives reasons, conclusion restates.
task response
Keep words simple. Do not repeat phrases. Use common words from top 100.
strength
The essay has a clear stance that you disagree with the idea.
structure
It keeps a simple structure with intro, body, and conclusion.
cohesion
You give at least one example (exercise) to back your claim.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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