IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Even though globalization affects the world's economies in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. What is your view? Discuss.

There are always two sides to issues.
Globalisation
Use synonyms
 is not an exception. Some believe it has great economic value,
while
Linking Words
 others do not.
Globalisation
Use synonyms
 has made life easy in different aspects of life, but it has some shortfalls. Sitting in your
houses
Fix the agreement mistake
house
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Punctuation problem
,
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you can easily book your flights for travel without the need to drive out for booking. With one click on your television, you can get the news of what is happening all over the world. With
cellphone
Correct article usage
a cellphone
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, children have easy
acces
Correct your spelling
access
 to information that can assist them with their studies.
Globalisation
Use synonyms
 has opened up doors for employment for a lot of people who couldn't have had jobs. People who are good with trading but cannot pay for shops because of their financial status can now use their phones to transact.
Instead
Linking Words
 of travelling to cities to order and collect goods , you can just do that from your bed. Despite all these great advantages mentioned above,
globalisation
Use synonyms
 has increased the rate of mental health
.
Check wording
issues.
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 The brain gets so flooded with bad news. Every moment you put on the television , if it is not war,it is deadly disease news. Processing
this
Linking Words
 information affects our mental health.
Moreover
Linking Words
, homes are broken
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 because everyone is on his/her own gadgets without quality time.
This
Linking Words
 puts tension in the family. Physical socialisation is part of human relationships
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 gadgets have rubbed us off
this
Linking Words
. In conclusion,
globalisation
Use synonyms
 has a place in our daily lives, but it should be handled better to cut down its devastating negative impact.

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planning
Plan your answer first. Tell your view in the start. Then give two or three clear points with a small example for each. End with a short closing.
cohesion
Make the flow clear. Use linking words like first, next, and also to mark ideas.
development
Give more details. Explain why a point is true and back it with a simple example you know.
language
Check grammar and space. Use mix of long and short sen. and fix mistakes like 'Globalisation' vs 'globalisation'.
task response
Stick to the task. Do not add points that do not help your view.
content balance
The essay shows a balance of view by mentioning both good and bad points.
examples
You give useful examples like online booking and news.
structure
The essay ends with a view and a note to manage issues.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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