The graph below shows the changes in the income of four cafes from New York City over the course of 1 year.

The line graph illustrates changes in the number of tourists visiting a country between 2000 and 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, tourist arrivals increased significantly over the period, despite a brief decline in the middle years. In 2000, the number of visitors stood at around 1
million
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
figure rose gradually to 2
million
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by 2005 and
then
Linking Words
increased sharply, reaching a peak of approximately 3.5
million
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in 2010. After a slight drop in 2012, tourist numbers recovered steadily and reached nearly 4
million
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by 2020.
By contrast
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, the decline observed in the mid-period was temporary and relatively minor compared to the
overall
Linking Words
upward trend.
As a result
Linking Words
, tourism experienced substantial growth over the two decades.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words million with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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