IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Access to clean water is a basic human right. Therefore, every home should have a water supply that is provided free of charge. Do you agree or disagree?

Access to clean
water
Use synonyms
 is often considered a fundamental human right. A
lot
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 think that,
for
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, every house should receive
water
Use synonyms
 free of charge. I
am
Verb problem
apply
show examples
agree that clean
water
Use synonyms
 is essential for
life
Correct article usage
the life
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 and
health
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 of
people
Use synonyms
. But
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
am
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not completely agree that it should be free in all situations. On the one hand, clean
water
Use synonyms
 is necessary for survival, because without
it
Punctuation problem
it,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can not have good
health
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 hygiene or
maybe
Use the right word
may
show examples
 die. In many parts of the world. Not having
water
Use synonyms
 can lead to serious
health
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 consequences.
Therefore
Linking Words
, governments have the responsibility to
protect
Verb problem
ensure
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 that all
the
Correct article usage
apply
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citizens have access to a minimum of clean
water
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, a
lot
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 of poor cities provide clean
water
Use synonyms
 and free
water
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 can improve the conditions of life and reduce many
health
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 problems. At
this
Linking Words
point
Add a comma
point,
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 should be a basic right and not something
luxury
Check wording
apply
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like gold.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, changing clean
water
Use synonyms
 involves a
lot
Use synonyms
 of costs. Because first of
all
Add a comma
all,
show examples
 they have to be collected.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
treated
Wrong verb form
treat
show examples
,and after
that
Punctuation problem
that,
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 maintain and transport to all the cities. If
water
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 were free for all the
people
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, the government might be in difficulty
to pay
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
 for all that, especially in big cities like Madrid,
the
Rephrase
where the
show examples
 government spend a
lot
Use synonyms
 of money all year
Linking Words
for
Check wording
round for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 reason.
Linking Words
Moreover
Punctuation problem
Moreover,
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 when
people
Use synonyms
 do not pay for
water
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
the
Use the right word
they
show examples
 waste
this
Linking Words
water
Use synonyms
 more easily. If the
water
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 has a reasonable
price
Punctuation problem
price,
show examples
people
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 can conserve it better
with
Change preposition
because
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
they are protecting
water
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 resources. In my opinion, a balanced
thing
Check wording
solution
show examples
 is the best
solution
Check wording
apply
show examples
. Governments should pay a basic amount of free
water
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 or
be
Verb problem
provide it
show examples
 very
cheap
Replace the word
cheaply
show examples
 to
essential
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
help. But a higher usage
should
Check wording
fee should
show examples
 be paid by the person who uses more
water
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. That would help a
lot
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. In conclusion, access to clean
water
Use synonyms
 is a basic human right. I believe that it should not be entirely free. A mixed system is
more easy
Correct word choice
easier
show examples
 and beneficial for both
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 and society.

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organization
Make a clear plan at the start. State your position early and group ideas in built blocks.
grammar
Fix the grammar. Use 'I agree' not 'I am agree', and check plural and articles.
cohesion vocabulary
Use simple words and link ideas with clear ties like 'first', 'then', 'also', 'however'.
content
You show you have a view and you give the reason.
content
You add an example about rich and poor cities and a mixed plan.
structure
You try to use a balanced view, not one side only.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • basic
  • human
  • right
  • water
  • supply
  • provided
  • free
  • charge
  • agree
  • disagree
  • health
  • essential
  • sick
  • diseases
  • supports
  • education
  • children
  • focus
  • learning
  • searching
  • better
  • futures
  • reduce
  • poverty
  • families
  • save
  • money
  • spend
  • important
  • needs
  • promote
  • equality
  • chance
  • access
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