IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some People think everyone should be a vegetarian because meat is unnecessary For good health.To what extent agree or diseagree?

Food has become an indispensable part of future
health
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. A frequently debated issue is whether vegetarian crops are essential for people or pose risks. I strongly disagree that there are several beneficial effects of eating only one element.
This
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 essay will examine the reasons behind
this
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 phenomenon, supported by relevant examples and insights.
To begin
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 with,critics contend that exposing individuals to vegetables and fruits can potentially contribute to different issues in mental and physical
health
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. A study at the University of Nizwa found that older people who eat a vegetarian and meat in their lifestyle, they have a healthier life and live longer.
Consequently
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,
health
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-wise, humans need all elements to grow and improve their fitness.
In contrast
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, there is a growing preference among the population for eating a variety of foods.
This
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 is because of whole elements like vitamins and Zinc. The American Educational Association states that approximately 65%of patients in hospitals suffer from high surgery and low zinc
due to
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 their dependence on crops. A report by the UNESCO Survey indicated that if residents reject meat in their diet, they will reduce life expectancy.
Therefore
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 ,the outcomes are not limited only to individuals but
also
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 have a profound impact on society. In conclusion , I would concede that vegetarians play a crucial role in life
health
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;
however
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, meat is an essential element to reduce diseases. From my perspective, I am in favour of the latter view because
this
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 situation helps citizens to improve their
health
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.
Thus
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, the government should encourage humans by publishing posters to take all elements of the body from animals and plants.

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structure
Plan your answer first. Make one main idea and give 2-3 clear reasons with small examples.
content
Be strict to one view. Do not mix ideas about veg and meat.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas fit. Words like 'also','but','so','therefore' help.
grammar
Check grammar. Use correct verb forms and punctuation.
language
Use simple words and short sentences.
content
You show a clear view against the idea that all people should be vegetarian.
content
You try to give reasons and some facts.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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