IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that machine translation is highly developed in today's society. Therefore, it is not necessary for students to learn a foreign language. What's your opinion?

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Nowadays, machine translation has become a popular topic of discussion
,
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;
show examples
 some
people
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 believe that not necessary for students to learn another
language
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 because of machine translation . I disagree with
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 opinion,
this
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 is because learning a foreign
language
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 is still important.
To begin
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 with, learning a foreign
language
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 helps
people
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 understand other cultures in a deeper way.
In other words
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, travel becomes easier because you can communicate with local
people
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 more easily.
For example
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, when you speak another
language
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, you can ask for directions confidently and avoid misunderstandings.
In addition
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, learning a new culture and its traditions increases your knowledge and helps you understand
people
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 better.
As a result
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, you can adapt to a new environment more easily. Another important point is that learning a new
language
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 can change the way you think, because it lets you see things from a different perspective.
As a result
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,
this
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 helps you improve and expand your knowledge.
For instance
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, when you learn a new word in another
language
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, it can show a concept that does not exist exactly in your
language
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.
Moreover
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, learning a new
language
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 improves
people
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's quality of life because it helps to provide opportunities ,
such
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 as jobs.
For example
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, a worker who speaks English and another
language
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 may help more customers or work with
people
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 from other countries.
However
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, machine translation sometimes gives a different or unclear meaning.
Therefore
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, learning a
language
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 from local
people
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 is more effective. In conclusion, it is necessary for students to learn a foreign
language
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 because it helps to change their way of thinking and develop their knowledge , and even helps them understanding culutures.
Also
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, learning these skills brings many benefits ,
such
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 as increased opportunities for their students in future.

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task response
Score: 6. Your answer is clear and stays on the topic. To move to 7, explain fewer ideas in more depth. For example, choose culture, work, and machine translation, then add more detail for each one.
task response
Your point about culture is good, but the next paragraph is very close to it. Join these two parts, or make the second one clearly about life in a new country.
task response
Say more about why machine translation cannot take the place of language learning. You could write that it may give the wrong meaning, cannot show tone well, and cannot help people speak in real time.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 6. The order is easy to follow, but some links are too general. “As a result” is used many times. Use it only when one idea truly causes the next idea.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph start with one clear main idea. Then give an example and explain how the example supports your view. This will make the flow stronger.
coherence and cohesion
In the ending, do not add a new idea. Keep it short and repeat your main view and best reasons. Also, change “their students in future” to “students in the future”.
task response
You give a clear answer: you do not agree. You give good reasons: culture, travel, new ways of thinking, work, and the limits of machine translation.
task response
You use examples about asking for directions, learning new words, and getting more work chances. These help make your ideas clear.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, main body, and ending. Each main point is in its own part.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as “To begin with”, “In addition”, “Moreover”, “However”, and “In conclusion” well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • machine translation
  • foreign language acquisition
  • cognitive abilities
  • cultural understanding
  • nuance
  • communication skills
  • human connection
  • idioms
  • context
  • error-prone languages
  • global job market
  • versatile
  • cultural content
  • competitive edge
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