IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Being the strongest economy in the world is a great thing, but not
with
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at
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 the price of having troubles with the essential life requirements,
such
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 as hospitals and schools. On the one hand, economic growth is seen as the main dream
,
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apply
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 by some governments
,
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apply
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 since it reflects how the population is living
, from
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. From
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 the
regime
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regime's
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 perspective, if your economy is strong, the country would not worry about paying salaries or satisfying other fund-related aspects, which is considered
as
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a success for many governments.
On the other hand
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, some people are arguing that the other fields are
never
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no
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 less than the economy, especially the fields which they face every day,
such
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 as health and education. Being in a rich country , but when you get sick, there is no health system to rely on, is a disaster, or you are not confident about your children's knowledge. I personally
,
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 believe that any successful nation
,
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 should care about all its sectors equally, because every citizen is important, and of course, some people are getting affected by a specific ministry more. My father is a teacher
,
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;
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 if the education system is not good,my family will be harmed more than any other family.
To conclude
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this
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 discussion,
i
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I
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 see that countries should focus on all the sectors, not just their market and income.

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structure
Add a clear intro that states the topic and your view, and outline the points you will discuss.
coherence
Use linking words to show compare and contrast, like but, however, on the one hand, on the other hand, and use smoother links between ideas.
content
Explain each idea with a reason or a real example so your view is strong.
grammar
Check grammar and spell errors, and fix problems with I and capital letters.
style
Keep to simple words and short, plain sentences to show good control of basic English.
idea balance
The essay shows two sides and gives a view of the issue.
personal ex
There is a personal touch from family life that makes the point real.
stance
A clear final sentence shows your view that all areas matter.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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