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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

The chart provides data (for 1970-2020) and
forcast
Correct your spelling
forecast
 (for 2030-2040) of how many people live in the city areas . The given information is taken in four different countries, namely
Correct article usage
the Phlippines
show examples
Phlippines
Correct your spelling
Philippines
, Malaysia , Thailand and Indonesia. The quantity of citizens is shown in
per cents
Use the right word
percentages
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the country with
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
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 amount of humans living in
downtown
Correct article usage
a downtown
show examples
 area was Malaysia in 2020 ,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest results were seen in Indonesia in 1970. When these
two
Use synonyms
 categories are predicted to be approximately as
two
Use synonyms
 rimes as
higher
Replace the word
high
show examples
, the other
two
Use synonyms
 groups of citizens
Linking Words
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 contrast , particularly from Thailand and
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
, have not
demostrated
Correct your spelling
demonstrated
 that significant growth.
Firstly
Linking Words
 , before 2020 , the Malaysian citizens
have
Wrong verb form
had
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demostrated
Correct your spelling
demonstrated
 a huge
population
Use synonyms
 growth. When in 1970 the percentage was about 30% , by 2020 it
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 grown
as
Rephrase
apply
show examples
twice as much. The Philippines
also
Linking Words
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 shown the trend of
population
Use synonyms
 growth, by 2020 becoming the second country wth
theb
Correct your spelling
the
 highest number of
population
Use synonyms
 in towns ,and in prediction remaining the same.
Secondly
Linking Words
 , Thailand and
Indoneasia
Correct your spelling
Indonesia
 before 2020 have not demonstrated
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
huge fluctuations ,
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
Correct article usage
an avarege
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avarege
Correct your spelling
average
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 about 10%.
However
Linking Words
, by 2040 ,the
two
Use synonyms
 countries are
forcasted
Correct your spelling
forecasted
 to have a more rapid
grwoth
Correct your spelling
growth
 of
population
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words two, population with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
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