IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays famous people photographed by photographers everywhere, some saying that it is a good source of information to know information about their lifes,others saying that they should spot doing it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is a debate over whether, currently , most
celebrities
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 are photographed by the press everywhere they go,with some saying it is a great way to be informed about famous people's
life
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 others saying that photographers should not follow
celebrities
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. In my opinion,photographers have to respect
celebrities
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' personal boundaries , as they would like to have some space and spend their time without attention and pressure. Nowadays , the number of people who are watching their favourite stars is increasing.
Also
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, there are a lot of ways in which they can follow their favourite ones ,
for example
Linking Words
 , using the press or social media as a source of information to know more about them. Social media is the most famous one on which they are supported, adored and commented on their lifestyle , and it is obviously a good opportunity for stars.
In addition
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, they can use it as an extra financial support and earn money through it.
Although
Linking Words
 it is interesting to be informed about their lives or occasions happening there , but Sometimes people tend to overreact
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 when they see someone famous, they definitely would like to take a photo of them , which can be uncomfortable for
celebrities
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. Even though
celebrities
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 are public figures, they are still human beings , so that's why I think that they have the right to have some privacy in their daily lives. When they are at concerts,events or some shows which are related to their job , the fact that paparazzi are taking photos of them is normal because they are doing it consciously.
However
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,in daily
life
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 , when they are enjoying their
life
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 moments and
while
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 creating memories , taking a photo of them is genuinely disrespectful, as I think that it crosses the line of their personal boundaries. In conclusion, from my point of view, every person has the right to live that
life
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 and enjoy it , but in some cases , because of photographers
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 can be uncomfortable, they ought to understand when allowed to take a photo and where not.

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structure
Plan your answer first. Write a short intro, two body parts for the view, and a clear final opinion.
coherence
Make the link words clear. Use again and again like 'also', 'but', 'however', 'for example' to show links.
grammar
Keep the sentences short. Check word order and punctuation so the ideas come out simple and clear.
lexical
Use only common words. Avoid long phrases and big words.
content
Give one or two small examples to show your point.
content
You state your own view and discuss both sides.
tone
You keep a respectful tone and try to be fair.
content
There is a clear aim to discuss privacy and respect.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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