IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Education for young people is important in many countries. However, others think government should spend more money for education in adult population who cannot read and write. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In modern
times
Punctuation problem
times,
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 focus is on educating children below the age of 21years, with little or no attention given to the
adults
Use synonyms
 who can neither read
or
Correct word choice
nor
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 write. I believe
they
Correct pronoun usage
there
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 should be a shift
on
Change preposition
in
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this
Linking Words
 paradigm. Educating the
youths
Fix the agreement mistake
youth
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is beneficial in various ways. At
young
Correct article usage
a young
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age
Add a comma
age,
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 their brain is at the building moment that it can easily be empowered with knowledge. Again, what is
theind
Correct your spelling
the kind
 of any young man or lady is how to get a job. And to do
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
this,
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 you need to have certain academic qualifications. It because paramount that giving them
educational
Correct article usage
an educational
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 foundation will not only assist them
get
Wrong verb form
in getting
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 a job, but
as well
Rephrase
also
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builds
Correct subject-verb agreement
build
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economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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 of the country. Despite all the
above mentioned
Use the right word
above-mentioned
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 reasons to educate the young ones, I feel that
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 should focus
of
Change preposition
on
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 educating the
adults
Use synonyms
. Every child has someone
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 cares for
him
Correct pronoun usage
them
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/her even
while
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 in school. If these
adults
Use synonyms
 are
educated
Punctuation problem
educated,
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 it makes it easy for them to know the reason to support their child's education. Evidence of
this
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 is shown in my
community
Punctuation problem
community,
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 where almost all educated parents, especially
teachers
Punctuation problem
teachers,
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 have all their children educated because they understand the value of education.
Moreover
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, the
adults
Use synonyms
 have gained life experiences and know exactly what they want. The advantage of
this
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 is that they will pay attention
while
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been thought
Wrong verb form
being taught
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.
This
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 is in
contrary
Use the right word
contrast
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 to the young ones
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 are still trying to figure out their lives. In
summary
Add a comma
summary,
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 I am of the opinion that
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 should balance the spending between the youth and the
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
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,
instead
Linking Words
 of just focusing on the former.

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structure
Plan your write. Make a small plan before you start.
coherence
Try to keep one idea per paragraph. Put one main idea in each paragraph.
language
Fix small grammar and spell mistakes. Use simple but correct form.
task
State your clear view in the first line or two and then be sure to support it.
content
You show a view that the government should mix money for youth and adults.
evidence
You use a real example from your place to show why growing reading helps family.
The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • education
  • young people
  • government
  • money
  • adult population
  • read
  • write
  • development
  • nation
  • improve
  • quality of life
  • investing
  • reduced
  • poverty
  • income inequality
  • funds
  • balancing
  • budget allocation
  • crucial
  • equal access
  • opportunities
  • promoting
  • literacy
  • numeracy
  • positive effects
  • society
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